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8
ARIA
The next night, Paul and Shelby walked through the door of my parents’ house with the kind of wide smiles I always saw on my clients’ faces two weeks before their wedding. They were nervous and excited, and it was finally starting to feel real. I knew from experience that over the next two weeks they’d experience feelings that ran from eager to emotional to considering elopement, and then back again. Okay, maybe Shelby more than Paul, but still. The closer we got to the big day, the more intense the pressure got.
Shelby and my mom instantly dove into wedding talk, and Paul and my dad made their escape as quickly and as seamlessly as possible. Before I had a chance to ask where Will was, I saw a shadow move across the front porch. The gray figure seemed to be heading away from the front door, toward the porch swing.
What was he doing?
I crossed to the door almost like my feet had a mind of their own, stepping into the balmy summer night. Just as I’d thought, Will had moved over to the swing and taken a seat, his eyes flaring with surprise when they met mine.
“Hey,” I said, giving him a small wave.
“Hey.”
“What are you doing out here?”
A corner of his mouth lifted as his steely gaze stayed locked on mine. “First comes the wedding talk, then comes the dinner. I’m just… you know.”
“Skipping the first part.”
“Yeah.”
Against my better judgment, I took a seat on the old swing. We faced the front door as we swung lazily through the air, both of us with our gazes rooted to the spot where we’d shared our first kiss. And it wasn’t just my first kiss with him. It was my first kiss in general. My first kisseverwas with my brother’s best friend who saw me as family. And since the topic of my love life was touchy around him and Paul, I was fairly certain he had no idea.
My eyes drifted to the darkened facade of the house he’d grown up in. “Have you talked to your mom since you’ve been back?”
As soon as my words hit him, the hard mask appeared. “Uh, no. I haven’t tried.”
She didn’t live in the house anymore. Since Mr. Paxton had been locked up for crimes unrelated to the ones he’d committed within his own home, she’d decided to move to an apartment downtown by herself. Will had already joined the Marines by then, so there was no need for her to think of anyone but herself. At least she’d had the decency to wait until he was gone to move. She knew how much he loved living by us. But the fact that they’d rarely talked since spoke volumes about how little she cared for her own son. And that broke my heart to think about.
We both stared at the house as we swung back and forth. A new family lived there now, a younger couple with two small kids. They reminded my parents of Paul and me, but since that house just reminded me of Will, I avoided getting to know them in any real capacity.
Their little boy may occupy it now, but the room that faced mine would forever be Will’s. It would forever be the bare room where I’d watch him lift weights every night without fail. Looking back, I wondered whether he’d been so diligent about it because he’d needed to be in shape for football, or if it was to make sure he was strong enough for the next round with his dad. Either way, every night, I’d hide in the cover of darkness and watch him, like the total creeper I was. I’d fantasize about the day he’d tell me he’d always been into me too, then he’d wrap his strong arms around me and admit I was the one for him.
“I see her around sometimes,” I said in a quiet voice. “Your mom, I mean.”
“It’s a small town.”
“It is,” I said, thinking that last night was totally proof of that.Cringe.
I wasn’t sure what I expected him to say, but when the silence dragged on, I racked my brain to think of some way to keep the conversation going. My stupid heart ached to find a reason for us to keep sitting here. If this lapse lasted much longer, he might suggest we go inside and join the rest of them. And I wasn’t ready. Although last night before dinner we’d had a few minutes to ourselves, tonight had been the first time in way too long since we’d hung out like this. Since he’d given me the time of day without finding some reason not to be alone with me. It was dumb, and I’d probably regret it later, but I couldn’t help it. I wanted more.
“Why did you come back here after college?” he asked, his question surprising me as much as my last one must have surprised him.
“Um, because it’s home, I guess. I never considerednotcoming back here.”
He nodded like that made sense, looking around the quiet neighborhood. “I can see that.”
“You came back, too.”
“Only for three years, and only because Paul suggested we both try to get stationed here. I think that had more to do with wanting to be near Shelby again, though, now that I think about it.”
I chuckled. “You’re probably right. But are you glad you came?”
His eyes searched mine, an unreadable emotion swimming in his. “Yeah. I guess I am. But it’s hard, too. Harder than I thought it would be. Lots of memories.”
My stomach clenched as I thought about what he’d been through in the house next door. It totally made sense that it would be hard for him to be back in this place. The one man who was supposed to protect him and be a good role model for him turned out to be his biggest enemy. His biggest fear.
