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And because of that feeling, I’d tilted my face up to look at him. My eyes searched his, hoping to see an ounce of what I felt for him reflected back at me. It was like that one night in high school all over again. The hope in my heart was so big I thought it was going to burst out of me. Then, to my utter shock, I did see something there. There was the worry over Shelby, of course, and our shared fear that she wouldn’t make it through the night. But there was a glimmer of something else, too.
My heartbeat had gone into absolute overdrive then, reading so much into that look. Before I could stop myself, I raised up on my toes, bringing my face closer to his. I needed his lips on mine. With all the worry and anxiety swirling around me, I’d sought his mouth like a lifeline. And then in a flash, he was gone.
He’d let go of me like I’d burned him, a hard mask replacing the longing I could have sworn I saw in his eyes. “Aria, uh, wait.”
I’d blinked at him, too stunned by his sudden retreat to speak.
“This,” he’d said, gesturing between us with his hand, “isn’t a thing. You’re Paul’s little sister.”
I flinched. Not this again. “So?”
“So, come on. We’ve talked about this before. That makes you like a little sister to me, too.”
Long-buried anger seared through me. Was he seriously still holding onto that lame excuse? It was the same one he’d given me in high school. I hadn’t wanted to believe him then, and maybe I’d actually seen the truth in his eyes all those years ago like I thought I did now. Maybe I should have trusted my gut back then. Maybe it was true. Maybe he really did see me that way.
Unable to handle the pain from his rejection on top of my fears over losing Shelby, I’d shaken my head at him and bounded through the hospital doors. He’d followed me in after a moment and stayed with us all night while Shelby fought for her life. But we hadn’t spoken of it again that night, or any time since.
And now, here I stood in the grocery store, looking up from the wine just in time to see his cart turn down this very aisle. I squared my shoulders as his lips quirked up in an awkward smile. I could do this. I could push away all those memories—and the equally painful ones from high school—and act normal around him.
If Will really thought of me like a little sister, there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. The only thing I could do was try to act casual. And that meant going back to pining over him in the same way I imagined girls pined over hot rock stars that they’d probably never meet. It was a completely impossible dream that didn’t cause anyone any harm but to the fool who held it locked inside her heart.
“Ms. Hattie said you have a date tonight,” he surprised me by saying when he reached me, standing between the beer cooler and the wall of wine.
“Ms. Hattie has a big mouth,” I replied with a good-natured eye roll.
“That she does.”
I gestured with the wine. “I should get going, actually. He’s supposed to come over in thirty minutes.”
“Come over?” he asked with raised brows.
“Yeah. I’m making him Shelby’s mom’s recipe for baked ziti. She said it worked like a charm for Paul.”
Will’s mouth dropped open slightly before he shook his head. “Wow. Going all out for this guy. He must be pretty…special.”
Something about his tone leaned heavily toward jealousy, but that couldn’t be possible, right? Why would an older brother figure be jealous of the man I was dating? He wouldn’t. Because that would be gross. But since I wasn’t an idiot, I wasn’t going to let myself read too much into anything with him. If there was something underneath Will’s tone, it was probably just the same old overprotective brother thing that he and Paul always did when it came to my love life.
I smiled, nodding slightly. “Yeah, I guess he is.”
Okay, he actually wasn’t. That was a total lie. I’d met Ethan Peterson at one of my recent weddings. He was the best man, and as a lawyer, he’d had fun presenting his case for why I should break my rules and date him even though he was a member of the bridal party. That was usually a hard no from me, mixing business with pleasure like that. But I had to admit, Ethan was handsome as heck, charming as all get-out, and I hadn’t had a good date in what felt like forever. So, I’d decided to give him a shot.
The only problem was, as great as he was on paper, he didn’t hold a candle to the annoying man standing in front of me. I compared every guy to Will. I couldn’t help it. My feelings for him went so far back I couldn’t shake them. They wreaked havoc on my ability to find love elsewhere, and for that reason alone, I often wondered if I’d ever get my happily ever after.
“Well,” he started, pausing to clear his throat and then grab his thirty-rack of Coors Light off the shelf, “I’m really happy for you, Little A. Have fun.”
A practiced smile made its way to my lips even as I internally screamed at him for using his childhood nickname for me at a moment like this. But it was only “a moment like this” for me, so whatever. Screw him and his big-brother nonsense.
“Thanks,” I replied in a clipped tone. Then, for the second time that day, I turned on my heel and walked away without looking back.
