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17
WILL
Istared out at the lake, my feet dipping through the water with every swing of my legs. It was a wonder I could even sit there, knowing Aria was going to show up soon and tell me the fate of my friendship with Paul. Maybe it was because I was so tired. Between fighting my feelings for her, running into my mom, the stuff with Paul, and the drama at work… everything was so draining. It was pretty clear why I’d spent so many years all happy-go-lucky in the dating pool. It was a lot easier to fake happiness than to deal with reality.
Tires crunched on the gravel behind me and I turned, my eyes widening when I saw that it wasn’t the sporty black coupe that I’d expected. It was Paul’s blue Chevy. My heartbeat instantly picked up speed and my palms grew sweaty. Was he here to go another round?
Gingerly, I stood from the dock, shaking the water from my feet as I ambled away from the edge. Paul got out of the truck and shut the door, not slamming it, not charging at me. That had to be a good sign. Maybe their talk had gone well, after all.
I watched with my hands deep in the pockets of my jeans as he walked down the wooden dock with heavy steps. “Will.”
“Paul.”
He let out a shaky breath and combed his hand through his short hair. “Man, I don’t even know where to start.”
I studied him. His posture was almost… shameful. Was he ashamed? “You talked to Aria?”
It was a stupid question that I already knew the answer to, but he didn’t point that out, just nodded. “Yeah. I did. I’m really sorry, brother.”
I let his words wash over me, nearly cleansing me of all the hurt. “Me too.”
“Aria helped me see what a jerk I was to you. I wish I could go back and react differently, but I was just really… shocked. And uh, you know, worried.”
“That I’d hurt her?”
He lifted a shoulder. “I mean, yeah. I’m always gonna worry about that no matter who she’s with. But I guess I was worried about what would happen with us if you did.”
Something tickled the back of my throat, but I cleared it away with a rumble from my chest. I wasn’t going to get all emotional with the guy. No matter how deeply his words affected me. “I was worried about that, too.”
“I know. I wish I could say you didn’t need to be, but clearly my reaction proved your point.”
I let out a low chuckle. “Just a little. And hey, for what it’s worth, I probably would have reacted the same way.”
“I don’t think so, bro. You’re a better man than me, I guess.” He straightened as a thought occurred to him. “I do have one question, though.”
“What?”
“Have you and Aria talked about what you’re going to do when you PCS?”
A rock landed in the pit of my stomach with a deafening thud. In all the conversations we’ve had about our feelings, we’d never once talked about the fact that I was only here for another two years or so before I got a new set of permanent change of station orders.
My expression must have told Paul as much because he whistled. “Yeah, I wondered about that. Hoped you’d thought of it already.”
I should have. I definitely should have. Aria had worked hard to make the B&B South Carolina’s most idyllic wedding venue. There was no way she’d want to leave with me when I got new orders. What was she supposed to do, start a new business in every city we landed in? She’d only get three years max to make her mark before we’d have to leave again.
Turning my back on Paul, I stared at the water again, not even seeing it. How had we not thought of this? Were we really so wrapped up in finally giving into how we felt that it hadn’t crossed our minds?
“Hey, there’s always long-distance,” he offered.
Paul had been in a long-distance relationship with the woman he’d dated before Shelby for about a year, so he was used to it. They’d made it work all the way from Hawaii to South Carolina. But now that Aria and I had finally made our relationship official, that was the last thing I wanted to do. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing her, even if it was only a distance thing.
“What if I got out?” I asked in a low voice.
Paul stepped around me so he could look at me. “Whoa, easy. I get it. If Shelby hadn’t wanted to pack up her life here and come with me, I probably would have considered the same thing. But we’ve put in enough years that we’re more than halfway to retirement. That’s a big thing to throw away.”
“I know.”
“Do you? I mean, what else are you going to do? You can’t quit your job and expect to be able to support her, you know? I get that she has her own business and it’s not like you guys have extra mouths to feed or anything, but still.”
