AllFreeNovel
Share Us
7
LAYLA
Iopened the door for Aria and Shelby, managing a smile even though on the inside, I was a mess. “Hey, guys. Come on in.”
It was the first Friday of the month, so they were here for our traditional girls’ night, and the timing couldn’t have been more perfect. I wanted their take on my conversation with Zac, as hard as it might be to talk about it. They each gave me small hugs as they passed, and something in their body language told me they already knew I’d met up with him last night. Lyndi must have told them.
After I’d gotten home from the pub, I’d tiptoed into her room to find her fast asleep. I’d been glad for it, but also bummed that I wouldn’t have a chance to talk with her about it while it was still fresh on my mind. But now that we were all together, it was probably a good thing I’d gotten the time to process everything before we talked about it.
Everyone grabbed their drinks of choice—beer for me, red wine for Aria, sparkling cider for Lyndi, and nonalcoholic wine for Shelby because of her heart condition. When we were seated on our gray sectional with its smattering of baby-pink throw pillows, the girls all looked at me expectantly.
“Okay, I’ll go first,” I said with a chuckle. I rubbed my temple, trying to figure out where to start. “So, Zac and I met up at Mickey’s last night.”
“Did you do karaoke?” Lyndi asked with a half-smile.
“No.”
“Bummer. You guys make a mean Sonny and Cher.”
I rolled my eyes at her. “Anyway, so we met up. He apologized for hurting me by leaving, but then it turned into this big, heavy conversation about how he left because he knew I didn’t want kids and didn’t want me to feel obligated to become an instant stepmom to Grayson and then change my mind later on down the road.”
They all stared at me, unspeaking, eyes wide and mouths tightly closed. Aria broke first, holding up a hand. “I’m sorry, hang on, he thought you would do that?”
I shrugged, hating how deeply the truth hurt. “Apparently.”
“Oh, girl, please tell me you laid into him. Please.”
“I tried to leave. I was so mad.”
“Tried?” Lyndi asked.
“Yeah. He convinced me to stay and keep talking.”
I reached up and touched the spot on my arm where he’d grabbed me, remembering the way it should have bothered me. Instead, it’d had the opposite effect.
I’d been pining over that man for the last three years, missing his touch, wishing someone else—anyone else—could take his place. But no one could. And when he’d wrapped his hand around my arm and stopped me from leaving, my whole body had lit up at that small contact. I’d wanted so desperately to forget the past and give in to the longing that coursed through me, but I couldn’t. The hurt was too raw. So I’d stood there, at war with myself, before finally sitting back down.
“Well,” Shelby said, speaking up for the first time, “I see what you meant that night when you spoke up about me making decisions for Paul that weren’t mine to make. Zac took that choice away from you before you even had a chance to make it. Just like I did with Paul.”
I sipped my beer. “Yeah. I didn’t know the details when I said that to you, but I knew it had to be something big for him to leave without a word like that.”
“Yeah, that makes sense. But I guess because of what happened with me, I can kind of see where he was coming from.” She bit her lip when everyone looked at her like she was crazy. “It’s just that the decision to have kids is a huge deal. Paul wanted them, and I was scared to have them. I genuinely thought I was doing the right thing by hiding my feelings so he could find someone who did. I didn’t like the idea of him being with me and getting trapped in a life he didn’t want.”
“So, in this case, Zac finding out that he had a son, knowing Layla didn’t want to have kids yet, probably really worried him,” Lyndi said, trying to process the similarity in the situations. “Like that he’d be trapping her into something she didn’t want.”
I threw my hand up and let it fall on my lap. “I get it. And I got it when you were going through it too, Shel. But I called you out on it because it wasn’t your choice to make. And this wasn’t Zac’s choice to make, either.”
Everyone nodded, and Shelby looked down at her lap. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Especially because you never know what can change. Paul and I are having some really good talks about our options as far as kids. And that wouldn’t have been possible if I’d kept shutting him out.”
Aria’s eyes welled up with tears as she looked at her sister-in-law. “Wait, does that mean what I think it means? Are you considering making me an auntie?”
Shelby giggled. “I need to adjust to the idea of making myself amom, first, but yeah. We’re talking about it.”
“Eek, yay!” Aria squealed, clapping her hands.
“It’s an exciting idea, for sure,” Shelby agreed. Then she sobered a little, playing with the edges of the pillow in her lap. “It doesn’t seem like me getting pregnant and carrying the baby is going to be an option, though. There are a lot of risks, and my doctor isn’t sure I should go that route. But we’re talking about surrogacy and adoption. Anyway, my point wasn’t to make this about me and Paul, though. I’m just saying we wouldn’t even be discussing it if I’d kept shutting him out.”
“Well, I’m glad it worked out for you guys,” I said, meaning it with my whole heart.
