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ChapterTwo
TARA
“Are you sure you want to do this, Tara?” Ginger asked me the next evening after I told her the plan.
“I know I give off ‘leave me alone’ vibes, and that’s part of the problem right now. I need to be seen as more approachable, not as an ice queen to be avoided. This ought to do the trick.” I wasn’t as brave, or as confident, as I forced myself to sound. I was terrified I was going to get up on that stage and lose my nerve, but I had to try.
Cash couldn’t replace human contact, but it could keep me warm in the cold months, and keep my belly full during the lean times.
“You know I won’t turn you out, right?” Ginger’s pretty face was marred with a frown of worry, her green eyes dark with concern. “I wouldn’t do that to you, you always have a place with me.”
“I know, Ginger and I will always, always be grateful.” Tara turned to Ginger, taking in the woman dressed in a floor-length, emerald green velvet dress that teased more than it hid. The color complimented rather than clashed with Ginger’s dark, coppery-red hair. “I just feel like I need to bring more to the club than I am and bring in some dedicated clients while I’m at it.”
“I understand. I just hope it works like you want it too.” Ginger looked up and down my body, her lips twisted to the right. I had on a diaphanous black teddy with a halter neck. The lower portion of the teddy split between my legs, leaving me open to anyone’s view, while the scalloped edges along my hips would draw the eye there. Anyone looking at me wouldn’t be able to look away. My breasts weren’t large, but they were enough of a handful to count. My waist was slender, while my hips and ass were much fuller than my waist.
The hours of practice I put in every day had defined my muscles without making my body too lean. I thought I looked pretty good now, but Ginger’s frown made me worry. “What’s wrong?”
“You need heels and stockings. Not a garter belt, just stockings. If they roll off you while you’re performing that’s fine. Got some?” Ginger paused until I nodded and reached in my bag. “Good. Now, you need at least ten minutes of songs. Do you have choices?”
“Yeah, that one about drowning and the other one about how we earn our money. And also the one about what a bitch love is. That okay?” I didn’t look up as I rolled black stockings up my legs, and then dug around until I found some black patent-leather heels in my bag to put on. Nervousness was taking over now, but I swallowed it down as well as I could.
“Great choices. You ready kid?” Ginger held her hand out to me, a calm smile replacing her worry. I too her help with a smile.
“As I’ll ever be,” I laughed with obvious nervousness, my eyes darting around the room. “I’ll got wait, shall I?”
“Yep, I’m just texting Daryl to make sure he has your song choices queued up,” Ginger said, mentioning the clubs part-time DJ.
“Cool. See you later,” I said, reaching for the door that would take me to the stage.
My palms were sweaty, so I swiped them down my hips to dry them off. That didn’t really help matters, but I didn’t care. Shayna was coming off the stage and my time was up. I grabbed the chair I’d left in the wings of the stage last night and waited while Daryl zipped over to carry it out on the stage for me. The lights changed, the room and stage went dark except for a single spotlight that gleamed down on the chair.
I ran a hand over my black hair, brushing the curls I’d added in earlier behind me to run down my back. The gleaming darkness of my hair contrasted with the almost colorless-blue of my eyes, drawing curious eyes to me often. Most of the time, I used my hair as a curtain to hide from the world, but tonight, it needed to be away from my face. I didn’t want to hide anything from the audience, not when I was going to be so very bold.
The opening strains of my first musical choice started and I hid a wince as my back twinged when I moved my right foot to walk out onto the stage. Well, it was more a slow waltz, meant to tease and pique the interest of the audience. I could barely see anyone out there, but my heart skipped a beat when I spotted Johnny.
He hadn’t been in last night, but there he was, all 6 foot three of him, lazily sprawled in a chair, looking up at the stage. Looking at me with eyes a much darker blue than mine. Eyes that were hungry for me, even if he’d barely ever spoken a word to me before. I nearly stumbled as I made it to the chair, but managed not to make a complete fool of myself.
The black aluminum chair was cold against the bare parts of my skin, chilly against skin that heated up the second I laid eyes on Johnny. I could barely make out his sharp cheekbones or the hard line of his jaw in the dim light, but I could see those eyes of his burning in the darkness, and the way he licked his lips when I parted my legs, just a little.
I made small gentle movements on the chair, just enough to give an impression of sensuality without wrenching my back. Ginger had offered me a muscle relaxer, just to ease the tension in my lower spine, but I had refused it. Ibuprofen was the strongest pill I’d take now, even when the pain left me in tears at night.
I’d worked too hard to get away from the drugs completely, cutting off everyone I used to count as a friend, but were actually just my drug buddies. The people I used to do drugs with would gladly welcome me back, if I had something in my pockets to give them a little bump. I didn’t need friends like that anymore, which was why I knew I should stay away from Johnny.
He was a member of the Wolves of Chaos, a motorcycle club that was notorious in Chicago. They ran a lot of goods throughout Illinois, but everyone knew their main income stream came from illicit drug sales. Which meant Johnny was bad news. Very bad news.
But damn, if the way he sat forward, clearly studying my movements, didn’t make something inside of me…ache, throb,bloominto life. My hands trailed down my throat as the song continued, a pulsing beat that matched the pulse of the blood in my veins. Johnny bit at his bottom lip, his eyes moving as my hands came down, to cup at my breasts. My lips parted when my fingers drummed over my nipples, a thump that made the tight buds harder as pleasure blossomed from the twin points down my body. To that part of me that I’d ignored for as long as I could remember.
Even when I was desperate for money, I’d ignored that part of my body when I wasn’t on my own, where I could relieve myself in private. Even when I was hungrier for the drugs than I’d ever been, when I shivered and vomited for even one quick sniff of anything I could get my hands on, I’d never traded my body for relief. The drugs had ravished my body, but no hands but my own had ever touched my most secret places. But if Johnny Baker kept staring at me like that, I might let him try.
The man filled my dreams, made me do things in the morning that I’d never admit to anyone.
A slight cheer went up through the crowd as I ‘accidentally’ pushed aside the top of the teddy to reveal a nipple. The plan was working. Normally, by this point, I was naked on the stage, but I’d got more of a reaction out of barely showing a nipple now than I ever had before. I wanted to smile but stopped myself, my eyes still on Johnny. He hadn’t cheered. Why?
Hmm, he needed prodding, I decided, and moved my hands down my body, drawing his eyes lower, over my abdomen and down. My legs were closed at the moment, but that was about to change. My right hand dipped down, between my thighs, but I didn’t press anything yet. No, I wanted the crowd begging me to go on, to spread my legs for them, and that’s when I’d know I was right.
Because I had discovered during my time at Ginger’s, that I loved the attention of men that could not touch me. I loved the idea of knowing they wanted me. Many men had offered to take my rose off my hands, now tucked behind my ear. I had refused because the one man I wanted to have ask for my rose, never had. But his eyes were glued to me now, hot and ice cold at the same time.
His nostrils flared in the shadows, watching me as my left hand moved up to cup my left breast, to tease the nipple just as I pushed the middle finger of my right hand into the slit between my legs, right overthatspot. I gasped on the stage, a sound that only Johnny may have heard. His eyes went wide when I made that sound, drinking in the sound and the look of my pleasure.
