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Freddy grabs my hand, but I pull away. I look at him, the boy who must have magic running through his veins to make me feel way I do. The boy I’m so in love with I can’t see anything without him. Right now he is taking a spoon to my heart and shovelling out the good stuff and replacing it with a black and empty void.
Anger and resolve harden my breaking heart.
“Freddy, there is no second chance for us.” I keep my voice level and my words slow, so there is no chance he can misunderstand what I’m saying. “There is no seeing what else is out there and then deciding this was the better option.” I take a deep breath, anchoring myself to some tiny part of my heart so when it explodes in a few seconds, I can keep a piece of myself forever. “If this is what you want now, then it has to be what you want forever.”
He nods with understanding. I can see his damn hands shaking, but his features are set. “I understand.”
‘I love you, Freddy. I would do anything for you.”
His hand runs around the back of his neck, and he spins away for a moment, his back straight and his shoulders high and tense.
He’s changing his mind. This is just a panic, a fear we can beat, together. In a flash, he reaches his hands for me, his lips crush against mine and my body tingles with relief. My senses swim in a heady scent of calm solace. My mind soars like a bird released from a cage. I’ve missed this with him.
Too soon he pulls away and the dark star-flecked blues gaze directly into mine, holding them still. “I love you, Amber French, but I know I need to do this.”
With his words, my heart smashes. I dig deep and try desperately to keep hold of the one piece I anchored myself to.
My eyes rove over him, taking in every single inch of him until finally, they rest on the stick that months ago seemed like a far-fetched hopeless dream. Anger flares inside me at my months spent at the hospital.
‘Goodbye, Freddy.” I say, my bruised fury not allowing any tears to fall.
“Bye, Amber.” His voice is nothing more than a whisper.
My mind spinning, I gather my dress in my hands so I can walk faster as I pace away. I don’t turn, and I don’t stop. I walk away, leaving my prom, my school, and my future as I thought it would be, under a thousand fairy lights behind me.
