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The brandy rush spreads through me again, mixed with my two hefty measures of scotch and suddenly all my limbs feel like they’ve caught alight. I grab onto his hair, pulling him closer and closer, until our kiss is on the point of painful. He meets me with as much aggression. His fingers tug and pull at my clothes, peeling them away from my skin, ripping them off me and abandoning them on the floor. Quickly, I slide my own hand under his shirt, revelling in the feel of his skin, hard and smooth all at once.
“I can’t stay away from you, Amber.” He breathes into my mouth. “I’ve never been able to stay away.”
“Don’t then.”
"I said I’d give you space, take the pressure off so that idiot wouldn’t punish you for me, but I can’t. I just need to be with you.”
Thoughts rush through my mind, my life up until this moment, my last week where the only glimmer of enjoyment I’ve had is at ten thirty when Freddy turns up to hold my hand. Flickering images of the life I’ve had and the one I could have had chase each other, until they merge together, painting a picture of the words I want to say.
“Let’s be together.” I gush the words against his mouth. My pleasure at saying them outweighs any fear for the future.
“And you’ll wait the five years if that’s what it takes?” He pulls back to ask, his serious eyes pulling me, begging me to drown in their depths.
“I’ll wait forever.”
“I’m talking burnt bacon, school runs, sharing parents and responsibilities. It has to be all or nothing.”
I sit myself on his lap and he pushes off the sofa, striding for a room which I can’t see. Inside a closed room he flicks the lights onto dim and I slide onto the floor. Looking around in amazement, I see all the pictures of Freddy and myself that were missing from my bedroom when I returned home weeks ago.
“My pictures?” I walk up to them, not caring that I’m missing clothing. There’s the picture of us on my eighteenth when we danced under fairy lights in this very garage.
“I took them from your room when it became clear you weren’t coming back.”
“Why?”
With gentle fingers he turns me towards him and I see something glinting in his fingers. The locket. He must have picked it up in my room the other day. He slides it around my neck and fastens the clasp. This is the exact same place he first gave it to me. “Because as I said earlier, you’ve only ever been my present. That’s all you ever would have been, whether or not you came back.”
Tears spring down my cheeks as I look up at Freddy and find myself finally home.
I know this path we have put ourselves on isn’t going to be easy. Too many things stand between us and ‘easy’. But I know it will be okay because it’s Freddy and I, and this love of ours.
