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“Are you kidding me?”Pushing out of my chair, I back away and walk to the kitchen counter. Freddy watches me from under his hair, his eyes dark in the dim kitchen lighting.
I don’t think I made my surprise clear enough. I reiterate just to make sure. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
Freddy looks as calm as the sea on a summer day. “Nope.”
"What? So have you waited for me to come back to town, for us to form some sort of tentative relationship again, and decided that right now would be the perfect time to restart the career that nearly killed you?” I come to a gasping stop, my blood rushing around my body, making me hot and flustered and not in the enjoyable way that Freddy usually creates.
He has the good grace to look a little remorseful; a little, but nowhere near as much as I’d like.
“Am I allowed to explain, or are you just going to shout?” He runs his hands down his thighs in that sexy way of his, apart from right now it’s not sexy, it’s just annoying and distracting.
“No. Freddy, it’s just a no from me. I can’t do that again.” My answer is simple and honest. I cannot and will not do that again.
Arching his fingers together into a steeple he rests his chin on his hands and looks up at me. Letting out a slow breath, I try to bring my surprise and anger under control.
I’m looking directly at him, but all I can see in my mind is the vision of him lying on a hospital bed, unresponsive with his skin blackened and singed. Bile rises up my throat and I spin, gagging into the sink.
His hand slides up along my back and sweat breaks along my brow. This is pure panic. I’ve felt it before and I always said I’d never allow myself to feel like that again. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, his fingers sweeping back my hair. “I didn’t mean to take you by surprise like that. I just got carried away, that’s all.”
Straightening up, I find his gaze on me. “Carried away with what?” I question.
“With you. God, Amber, I haven’t felt like myself in so long, then you came back to town, and I felt this flicker of life inside me again. I haven’t raced since you left because I blamed it for me losing you, but now you’re here I’m thinking of the Freddy I can be with you by my side.” His hand slides from my shoulder along my arm and I offer an involuntary shiver at his touch and his words.
“Freddy, we’ve been doing this…” I gesture between the two us like it’s in any way able to convey the fragile relationship we are rebuilding, “…for a couple of months. When I was here ten years ago, we’d been together a month when you went to that race. It’s too much coincidence; it’s like you are trying to throw a massive spanner in the works.”
“Listen, Amber.” He takes another step closer, sliding his arms around me, his hands down my spine. A ripple of pleasure rolls through me. “I’m probably going to be shit. I haven’t raced in a decade. I drive like a granny most of the time anyway these days. I just want to know what I could be now. If I can still do it.”
I give a little, “Pfft.” And shake my head. “Like you could be shit at anything.”
He flashes me a cheeky grin. “I’m not very good at mowing a lawn.”
This is true as we found out the other weekend with the Flymo. “True.”
“So maybe I’m not going to be any good at racing. I just want to try…”
I’m never going to win this, but the thought of him going through that again is still too much to contemplate. “What about Isaac? You and he have this thing going. He looks up to you. Are you willing to gamble that?”
“It’s not a gamble.” He holds me tighter. “I’m not going anywhere or leaving either of you. You’re both mine.”
My heart swells with his words. “Actually, I think you’ll find you’re both mine.”
Pulling me in the final inch that separates us, he kisses me, making good use of the kitchen counter until we hear Isaac clatter back down the stairs and we pull apart, putting a good few feet between our burning bodies. “Isaac, it’s time for bed.”
It’s not, it’s half seven, but it’s always worth a try.
“Yeah, whatever, Mum. Nice argument?” Isaac asks.
“We weren’t arguing.” I state, not that convincingly.
Isaac just raises an eyebrow in his all-knowing manner.
“Isaac,” Freddy interrupts us again.“You do need to go to bed early. I’ve got something fun planned tomorrow, but you need a good night’s sleep.” I snort a snigger. There is no way in a million years Isaac is going to fall for any form of bribery for the second time this evening, no matter how convincing Freddy may be when he delivers his winning line.
“What?” Isaac knows when he’s being bribed, as all children do. He just has to find out first whether the bribe is worth the price.
