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“Please come. I’ve cancelled seeing Dad today so I can go with you. I promise to hold your hand.”
Oh yes, he’s still calling Elliot ‘Dad’, and every time he does, it chips away a little bit more of my heart.
“Promise?”
“Definitely.”
My phone vibrates in my pocket, a message from Freddy.Don’t be chicken.
That’s just taking the piss. I jump from the bed. “Are you coming or not?” I suddenly realise if I lose Freddy waiting at home or standing by the track it’s not going to make much difference. Losing Freddy again either way will be the end of me.
We are walking to the door when I grab Isaac’s hand in mine. “You promised to hold my hand.”
“Freddy says when I’m a racing driver you won’t have any choice but to come to every meet.”
I make a mental note to discuss child appropriate conversations with Freddy.
“Sweetie, over my dead body.”
“I’m naturally gifted with cars. Mr Bale told me.”
“I’m sure he did.” I pull Isaac to a stop, and he looks at me in confusion. “Isaac, are you okay about Freddy and me? I know it must be confusing for you.”
He offers me one of his wide grins. “Well, you look happy so it’s not that confusing. I like to see you smile, Mum.”
There is one more thing I need to clear up before we leave the room. I hold him still while I lower myself so I can look into his eyes. I brush the hair off his forehead so I can see clearer. “Isaac, remember when we talked about trying this out for a year? I need to know how you feel about that now. You see, if I go to this race today, and Freddy, you, and I make a little gang of three, then it will be very hard for me to leave. I wouldn’t want to do that to you again. You’re old enough now to understand, aren’t you?”
Isaac looks at me solemnly, his little face so beautiful as he registers what I’m saying. He knows that I’m admitting to the mistakes that brought us back here in the first place. “Mum, I don’t think I’m going to want to leave either. I like it here with Crazy Nanny Barb and the Bale family. It feels like home.”
Tears of relief slide down my face, tracing their way onto my clothes.
“Come on, we are going to be late.” Isaac grins at me with his words and I wipe haphazardly at my wet cheeks. “And you don’t want to distract him again.”
“Distract him? Who told you I did that the first time?”
“Bailey’s dad.”
“Well, we’d better go and prove Bailey’s dad wrong.”
I’ve actually timedour arrival perfectly. All the drivers are in their cars on the grid (apparently it’s called a grid) so I don’t have to worry about ‘distracting’ Freddy. Slipping through the gathered crowd, I locate Dani and Freddy’s family. Just like ten years ago, Dani slips her arm through mine and squeezes tight. Out of the corner of my eye, I spy Mai and Henry; they are both suited and booted, looking like they are headed for a business meeting rather than an afternoon race. It’s only Charles Bale who looks casual in faded jeans and a knit jumper. Isaac heads straight for Charles, and the older man’s face lights up when he sees him. “Good to see you here, Amber.” He comes up and gives me a tight hug, holding me for longer than normal. “I think you’re very brave,” he whispers into my ear so the others can’t hear.
I lean in close and whisper back. “I’m not the brave one. I’m not the one in the car.”
He pulls away and gives me a bright smile, but deep underneath it I sense I am not the only one for who today is a challenge. “He’ll be fine,” I find myself saying.
“Of course he will. He spent ten years waiting for you to come back. I don’t think he’s going to mess it all up now.”
I grin a big cheesy smile at his words, but my smile quickly fades when I see Henry marching over. I try not to pull a childish face, but I possibly fail.
“Right, you’ve got five minutes to learn enough about our cars to bluff and then you’ve got to circulate,” he informs me.
"Right now, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I look at him blankly.
“You talk to people who may decide to buy a car; it’s quite simple really.”
“Are you joking?”
He motions to his suit. “Does it look like I’m joking? Apparently, you’re family again, so you can help us sell. Off you go, Amber. Your son knows most things about the cars, I’m sure he can fill you in on a level you understand.”
