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Liv
IwakeupinLuke’sarmsandforamomentthere’sonlypurehappiness.Thatfadesasmyrealitysetsin.Lukeisfastasleep,layingonhissidefacingme.Hisarmcradlesmyheadandmyfacesquishesagainsthischest,myheadonhisbicep.
I accidentally wake him when I move my head. He removes his arm from under me and sits up. He looks tired still, exhausted. There are dark circles under his eyes. I doubt I look much better. He cups my face and kisses my lips before he pulls the covers aside and sets his feet on the ground. He rubs his hands through his hair as he yawns.
I watch him for a second, taking comfort in his presence, then use the restroom. When I come out, he heads into the shower, closing the door on me after he kisses my temple. I throw on a pair of sleep shorts and head to the kitchen.
My dad is asleep out on the couch, snoring softly. John, Vera, Brando, and Jackson are at the table talking in quiet tones. Their conversation cuts off when they notice my presence.
“You hungry?” Vera asks. I nod and she moves to the fridge and pulls out things to make breakfast, even though it’s late afternoon. When I woke up this morning Luke wasn’t with me, but I could hear his voice and others travel down the hall so I fell back asleep. He must have returned at some point.
John stands and hugs me. I return it with a deep sigh. Jackson pats the empty seat next to him, and I sit.
“How are you feeling?” he asks.
“Still tired.” Even though I slept all day, I just want to crawl into bed.
“How are you up here?” he asks, tapping my forehead.
I shrug. “How are you supposed to feel after you kill someone?”
Their faces turn grim. “I wish I had an answer for you. But you did what you had to do. We’re all here for you ok? Whatever you need. We’ve all been through it. Pick your favorite and talk it out when you’re ready.” His smile is soft as he rubs my shoulder.
“What if I’m never ready?”
“Then we’ll hang out with your mopey ass for eternity. You’re stuck with us.”
A slow smile forms on my lips. “Eternity, huh? That’s a pretty huge commitment.”
“You only have yourself to blame. You got four more brothers when you joined this family. Deal with it.”
I chuckle and squeeze his hand. “I love you, Jackson.” He presses his lips together and his eyes water.
“Hang in there, ok? You’re stronger than you think.” Brando reaches across the table and takes my other hand.
A lump forms in my throat. “Thanks,” I choke out.
“Stop it. I love you too.” Jackson’s voice cracks and I sniffle.
“I love all of you guys. So much.”
“We know, Liv. We all love you too,” Vera says as she swipes at her face and smiles at me.
My throat burns as I try to hold back the waterfall, but then I release it all in a sob as my dad wraps his arms around my shoulders from behind and squeezes tight.
“You are so loved, my sweet girl,” he says, and I let out every emotion I’ve ever had. I jump to my feet and bury my face in my dad’s chest, like I did when I was a little girl. His protective arms wrap around me and I grasp onto that childhood feeling that my dad will make everything ok. It’s fleeting, but a tiny piece of my soul pulls itself back together.
When I get my crying under control, my dad kisses the top of my head and wipes my face with his thumbs. He smiles and I can’t help but return it. I settle into my seat, and Jackson sets a box of tissues in front of me.
We all turn to Luke when he walks in, hair damp and barefoot in a t-shirt and sweats.
“Garrett just called. Dylan is awake,” he says.
The next day, Luke has Dylan transferred to a hospital closer to us. It’s brand new and super fancy.
My dad and Jackson take me to the hospital, and we find Garrett in the waiting room. He wraps me up in a hug.
“How is he?”
