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"So she made you face a fear in a way?"
I pause. "Yeah, I guess she did."
I wonder if she meant to make me face my fear of losing her. It was my greatest one.
No, not tonight. Not right now.
Elijah grabs the remote off the end of the bed and looks through the apps until he finds it on one of them.
"If you should suddenly get scared on any part, I'll be here to hold you tight," he jokes.
"What about even if I'm not scared? Will you still hold me?"
Instead of answering, he moves the plate and slides more to the middle of the bed, opening his arms. I'm quick to crawl into them, a feeling of peace coming over me as I settle against him. His chin rests on the top of my head, and I truly cannot remember the last time I felt so at home somewhere. Like the rest of the world didn't matter as long as I stayed right where I was.
Somewhere in the middle of the movie, we both sit up to eat the cake. Elijah even lets me eat the rest of his when I finish mine before him.
"I would have been dead like the first half hour of this movie," I say as the credits come on.
"Why do you say that?" He chuckles.
"Did you see how much walking they did? I could barely breathe just running to my car that day in the rain with you."
"I would've carried you."
I give him an exasperated face. "Yes, and I'm sure all the nut bags in town would've never caught up to us."
"We would've used our hoodies as camouflage."
I laugh so hard. "You've certainly got enough."
"My grandma would say the word you're looking for is obsession. I don't know, I just feel more ready to face the world with a hoodie on."
"I get it. Hence why my least favorite season is summer when you can't wear one."
"What are your plans for the summer?"
"Apparently apartment hunting. Fun stuff."
"Anything is better than dorm living, trust me."
"Oh do tell."
"The walls are paper thin so you hear everything from both sides, and I do mean everything." He gives me a pointed look that has me chuckling. "You can't really study because of the constant noise. The locks are barely hanging on so you're always worried you'll come back to your room robbed. And my last roommate, God, there are not enough words in the English language to describe how dirty that guy was. He'd leave food on the floor. Not food wrappers, food, on the carpet, on the desk, on the nightstand, until it molded and I just had to throw it away myself. I don't think I ever saw him do laundry the entire time we shared a room and I really have to think hard to remember him taking a shower. It was brutal."
"I would have lost my mind in that room. I cannot stand messes. I feel like I can't think straight when there's a mess around me."
"Same, so imagine me trying to cram for my psych exam and having a week old hamburger on the desk next to mine."
"Psych?"
"Yeah," he answers low. "I had three semesters left, and I would've gotten my bachelor in psychology."
“Why..." I begin to ask and realize it probably has something to do with Ben and hesitate.
He nods anyway. "I just couldn't be there anymore. Not when everyone was constantly asking me about Ben and why he did it. Not when the professors looked at me with these pitiful eyes, and the students whispered behind their hands as I walked by. But most of all, I went for that major for him, thinking I could use it to help one day. Without him, it just didn't feel worth it anymore. I stayed for another two months, just trying to keep my head down and get what I needed to done, but my grades were suffering too. I decided if I was ever going to take a break, that was the time, before I messed up my GPA too bad and paid for another semester just to flunk it. So I came back here for Christmas break and stayed. I didn't really account for the way being back here would make me feel either."
"What do you mean?"
