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“I’m just not hungry,” I finally answer. “I have to get ready for work.”
“Oh, of course,” she says low.
I walk away, making sure my eyes don’t look into Callie’s room. But I still feel the hollowness in my chest when I pass it. My phone vibrates as soon as I enter my bedroom.
"Thank God," I mumble to myself.
Something to take my mind off being in this house until I can leave this house. I pick up the phone as I sit on the end of my bed.
Elijah: My grandma just cooked liver. LIVER. Said I'm looking pale and need some iron.
I laugh and it feels so good after all the tension of dinner. That lasagna doesn't seem quite so bad now that I know what Elijah's meal is looking like.
Me: Well we can't have you looking pale now, can we? Make sure you eat every last drop.
Elijah: I thought I could count on you for moral support. The disappointment.
Me: Who am I to go against your grandmother?
Elijah: Lol. That's true. No one goes against her. She's about four foot eleven but you would not know it from the way she commands everything around her.
Me: Then I must admit I find it even more odd that you're so quiet.
Elijah: I guess Ben was always the one talking. He made it so I didn't have to step into the spotlight because he was always in it. I was able to fade into the background whenever we were together, which was usually all the time. I like to listen more than I like being listened to. Does it bother you?
Me: No. I like that you actually listen. Few people really do. But being that we have well established how much I like your voice, I just wondered why you didn't use it more.
Elijah: I still don't know about this nice voice business, but I'll take your word for it. So what are you up to tonight?
Me: Working in half an hour.
Which makes me put the phone down so I can change into my uniform. When I pick it back up, my eyes widen, just as my smile does.
Elijah: So that means I'll have to take you out tomorrow then.
I do a little dance and begin to walk to my door, Callie's name on my lips. Then it hits me all over again. My sister isn't in the next room for me to tell a cute boy just asked me out on a date. She'll never be in that room again. I think that's when it truly hurts the most, when I forget for a moment that she's gone. And when I'm reminded, the blow to my heart, the pain of it, is just as great each time. The loneliness floods into the space where my sister used to be. Because she didn't just take her life. She took my best friend from me, my only friend from me. She left me without the only one I had to run to with news, good or bad. She stole away the only person I laughed and cried with. She snatched herself from me and left me with nothing.
I drop to my knees in front of my closed door, hand slipping off the knob and falling limp into my lap.
God, how could she leave me like that?
My phone vibrates in my lap and I look down at it through blurry, teared filled eyes. A shuddering breath leaves me as I swipe the screen to unlock it.
Elijah: I guess I really don't know how to flirt if it's taking you this long to respond.
A laugh, a mixture of pain and joy, bursts out of me. I wipe my tears, taking a deep breath and a few seconds to come back to the moment I'm in.
Me: Sorry, I was getting dressed for work. I would love to go out with you tomorrow. You tell me where and when, and I'm there. I've been waiting for you to ask.
Elijah: Phew. Let me wipe this sweat off my forehead now.
Me: I mean, keep the sweat there. It'll keep you on your toes.
Elijah: On my toes huh? Am I not tall enough already without adding a few inches?
Me: Funny. You know, you texting and you face to face are like two different people.
Elijah: Which do you prefer?
