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Chapter 17
I lead Elijah to his bedroom. His steps are sluggish. His head bent, guilt and shame making his shoulders hunch forward. I hate seeing him this way, because even if he'd never believe it right now, he doesn't deserve it. His grandma was right. He said what needed to be said. And although I could hear the pain in his voice as he told Regina about the parts of her son she never knew, I also heard determination. Because deep down, I think he too knows, those words were a long time coming.
It was hard to watch Elijah at the dinner. Seeing him sitting there so quietly, struggling for words when all eyes turned on him, reminded me of how it was when we first met. How he hardly talked, was used to being in the shadows of Ben and the personality he projected. Knowing how he is now, joking, talking all the time, no hesitation to be himself simply because he can, it hurt to watch him drift back into the Elijah Ben’s family knew. It made me want to grab him and make him leave so many times throughout the night.
When I reach the bed and let go of Elijah's hand, it falls limply to his side and he just...stands there. His eyes stare unseeing at the bed, as if he doesn't know what it is, or what to do. That's okay. I will do everything for him tonight.
I unbutton his shirt and push it off his shoulders. I drag his pants down and untie his shoes. He slowly steps out of both after a few seconds. I lead him to the bed and pull the covers back so he can climb under them. Then I take my dress and heels off and join him. He hasn't moved much at all, but the moment I get into the bed, he grabs me to him. He holds me entirely too tightly, and I'll probably have a few bruises tomorrow, but I don't ask him to loosen his arms a bit. I move further into him and hold him just as tightly. His head winds up on my chest, the wetness touching my skin telling me he's still crying, albeit much more quietly now.
"I'm proud of you," I say. "For speaking the truth."
"But what damage did that truth do?" he all but whispers.
"Sometimes you have to break things apart for them to come back together in a better way."
He stays silent, but I feel his body finally relax into mine.
I lean forward to kiss his hair. "Sleep now, my love. Let this night end."
Everything is eerily silent. There's no hum from the TV playing in the living room. Not even the crickets outside make noise like they usually do. The night seems to be holding its breath, waiting for Elijah to close his eyes, waiting for him to decide this night is really over.
His breaths even out, his grip loosens on me, and his body becomes heavier on me. Finally sleeping. Hopefully, finally at peace. Then the crickets begin their song outside the window and although this night has been hectic, crazy, and went way worse than I could have ever expected, I smile at their sound.
The night is over. I can only hope the morning is better.
I wake up alone, but the sheets are still warm beside me so I know Elijah didn't leave too long ago. After putting on a T-shirt and shorts, I tiptoe to the kitchen and watch Elijah at the stove, trying to discern how he's feeling after last night. It's not hard to tell. He hums as he hovers over a pan. I decide to watch him for a little while instead of interrupting him. I don't know what song he's mumbling the words to but it makes me smile as I track him moving around the kitchen, getting plates, forks, and cups.
Finally he notices me. The smile he throws my way makes my feet begin moving before I even tell them to.
"Good morning," he says, voice still a little rough with sleep.
I love it.
"Morning. I see you took your grandma's advice."
"Well, I figured I've rarely known her to be wrong, so I should probably do as she says. I guess my mind made that decision overnight. I woke up feeling, I don't know, I guess unburdened, a certain type of freedom. I don't know if I'll ever feel I went about what I said in the right way, but I do know it needed to be said, in the end."
"Damn right it did," Louise states as she joins us.
I chuckle as she sits beside me, and Elijah brings us both a plate.
"Although I will need to go get a new phone today," Elijah says, cringing a little, I'm sure remembering when Regina threw his phone to the floor.
I wanted to get my hands on her, but watching Louise slap her was almost as satisfying as getting to do it myself.
"We can go after we’re finished," I suggest.
He nods and sits down to eat with us. We take turns showering and getting dressed and then we're heading out the door. I notice the way Elijah pauses for a second, looking towards Regina's house, like maybe the door will open, and she'll come out and take back her harsh words. But then he gives a small shake of his head and comes to open my door. He gets a new phone in much less time than it took me since his old one was already in his name anyway. We are just sitting down on Elijah's bed to eat the food we got while out when a phone chirps in the room.
Elijah and I look at each other confused because both of our phones are sitting between us and neither is lit up. The sound comes again and I look behind me to realize it's my old phone, sitting on the nightstand because it's been useless the past few days. I reach over and get it, not at all surprised when I see there's a message from my parents. I read the text from my mother, then the one from my father, anger rising in me.
"So they turned my phone back on just to have a way for my mother to text me and say I had better attend the family session they have scheduled for next week."
"Are you serious?"
"Oh it gets better. Then there's one from my father telling me how selfish I'm being for putting them through this, that they didn't raise me to behave without concern for others. That if I care for them at all, I will come home at once and stop acting so childish."
"Is it all just for the image they want to keep?" he puzzles.
