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Chapter Twenty-Five
MADISON
“Okay, I want to pretend this is the wedding,” I said to Zoe and Eva.
“You told us we were going to have some drinks and have fun,” Zoe said.
“She lied to us,” Eva said. “Now we’re stuck in some fantasy of hers.”
“This isn’t a fantasy,” I said. “I have to take pictures at this wedding. This is real. I want to make sure I’m mentally prepared.”
“You’re going to do just fine,” Zoe said. “Want me to come with you? I’ll be your assistant.”
“No,” I said. “I don’t want you there. Or Eva. Or anyone.”
“Then why are we here now?” Eva asked.
“What better plans do you have?” I asked.
“I’m in the middle of a book,” Eva said. “Okay? I’ve got three teenagers who just discovered the grave of a vampire. Okay? That vampire was said to have been buried somewhere else. So now there’s all this crazy shit happening, and sightings of the vampire.”
Zoe whistled. “That sounds scary.”
“Is that sarcasm?” Eva asked.
“Don’t take that personally,” I said to Eva. “We both know Zoe doesn’t read. She hates reading. She won’t even read a recipe. That’s why she can’t cook.”
“Why is it my job to learn how to cook?” Zoe asked. “Is that like a woman thing? I’m supposed to learn this skill so I can eventually cook for a man?”
“Here we go,” Eva said. “Now she’ll be writing songs about women and not cooking.”
I stepped up on the couch and pretend to strum a guitar.“You can take this spoon and shoot it to the moon! I’m not cooking your food. I think it’s… really rude. I can’t cook a duck…”
I pointed to Eva.
She smiled.“But I sure know how to fuck!”
I jumped off the couch, laughing.
“You two are dumb,” Zoe said. “Think about what you just said. I’m good enough in bed that I don’t need to know how to cook. When I’m done with a man, he makes me a sandwich.”
“So you use your body to get food?” Eva asked. “That’s okay though? But you can’t learn how to boil pasta?”
“I thought we were here to get married?” Zoe asked Eva.
Eva jumped to Zoe’s side and offered her arm. “Come here, my love. Let’s make this forever.”
“Will you two take this seriously?” I asked.
“We’re not getting changed, right?” Zoe asked.
“Yes,” I said. “I have wedding dresses waiting for you both.”
“What?” Eva asked.
I rolled my eyes. “Just do what I say, okay? I just need you both to stand there and face each other. I want to take a few pictures and just get a feel for this.”
Zoe and Eva faced each other.
