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23JAIDE
“There you are.”
I recognized Parris’ voice, but at the moment, it was a little too much to ask that I open my eyes.
“Where did you think I went?” I whispered.
His soft laughter was nice to hear. I could’ve counted on one hand the number of times I’d heard him genuinely laughing. At somebody’s misfortune? At my discomfort when I had a plug up my ass, and it felt like my whole body was on fire? Sure. He’d done a lot of laughing over stuff like that. But easy and genuine was so very rare.
“Do you truly want the answer, darling?” His touch was soft, fingers working hair back from my forehead.
“You thought I was dead, I’m guessing.”
“To put it bluntly, yes.”
I opened an eye. “You won’t get rid of me that easily, even if I sort of thought I killed myself, too.”
I was in a tent and on a cot, piled thick with blankets.
“We wanted to make sure you were comfortable when you woke up. How are you now? Do you feel…” Parris asked.
“Electric? Like I might start sizzling?” I was kidding around but decided to check in with myself anyway.
How did I feel?Shaky. Unsure of myself. Like I had no way of knowing if my powers were going to up and kill me out of nowhere.
But I was in one piece. “I think I'm okay. Just tell me one thing.”
“What's that?” Parris asked.
I turned to him, solemn. “Did my hair stand on end? Like straight up in the air?”
“I'm glad you find this funny.”
“I think it would be pretty neat if it did, that's all.”
“I hate to disappoint you, but it did not,” Parris said.
“No smoke coming out of my ears or anything?”
“Not so much as a wisp of smoke, no.” Parris was sitting on the edge of the cot, stroking my hair absently. “I'm beginning to understand why it's always been folly for any of us to form deep attachments. Synians, I mean. There are moments like the one out there, when the entire world was filled with blinding light, and you dropped to the ground that I couldn't help but remember how different we are. You are still so fragile.”
There wasn't much I could do about it, but I sort of felt like I had to apologize, anyway. “I'm sorry.”
“I'm not looking for an apology, darling.” He scowled, though. “I'm not sure what I'm looking for. Perhaps you can help me understand because I certainly can't understand on my own.”
I sat up slowly, just to be on the safe side. “What don't you understand?”
He scowled, and for a second, I thought he might be mad at me. He reminded me of the Parris I first met—callous and flippant.
And that was it. There was a Before Parris and an After Parris.
“You've changed a little, haven't you?” I asked.
“A little?” He barked out a snide laugh. “Yes, and you snapped and crackled just a little out there. Then, you felt just a little unconscious.”
“Hey, don't get mad at me just because I was trying to be nice.”
“I'm not mad at you.”
