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Chapter 5
(Petal)
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If I wasn’t the cause of it, I would be laughing pretty hard at the expression on almost everyone’s faces right now.
I want to yell at them. So what if I’m a 23 year old virgin. It’s not that bad.
I hate alcohol. I would never have said what I said if I wasn’t already drunk. I’m pretty sure if I stand right now, I’m going to sway on my feet. My friends are still shocked, except some of the girls and Rachael who’s looking at me with an apologetic smile. It’s fine. She couldn’t have known. Even Taj didn’t know.
Thinking about Taj makes the ache in my heart return. I feel like there’s something brewing inside of me that I can’t allow to explode. Frustration? Jealousy? I’m not sure. I’m definitely jealous. Everyone at this party can see that.
I’m also frustrated. I wish Taj would just put me out of my misery. Does he have feelings for me or not? If no, he should tell me because I really can’t stand seeing him with Aurora. I hate her. I know I shouldn’t, she didn’t do anything wrong. She’s probably in a similar position as I am, but I can’t help it.
She’s the one he walks arm in arm with, she’s the one he has been smiling at all night. She’s the one he kissed when Alan dared him to. Granted it was a peck on the cheek, but still it hurt.
I can tell he’s really surprised I’m a virgin. We’ve never really talked about stuff like that. It’s true though, I, Petal Jones have never had sex. They shouldn’t be that surprised actually, my whole life has been centered around school and books. I graduated high school when I was 14, college when I was 18, then I went to law school. By the time I was 20, I had never had a boyfriend or even had my first kiss.
After I finished school though, I put in more of an effort. I went on dates with guys, I even dated a few but it never went on for long. I always lost interest. Sadly, Taj is the guy I’ve had feelings for the longest. Two whole years and we’ve never even kissed. It’s almost pathetic.
“Phil, truth or dare,” I say, reminding everyone that we’re still playing a game.
“Uh, truth,” he says. I knew he would say that. Rachael wanted to make the game dirty, well, I can do that.
“Favorite sex position?” I ask.
Phil rolls his eyes.
“He really likes missionary,” Jessie answers for him with a grin. Phil blushes and everyone howls in laughter. My virginity quickly becomes forgotten. Except for Taj, who keeps glancing at me.
I can’t take it anymore. I need to go to the bathroom. I stand up and my vision blurs for a second, but I manage to walk all the way to the bathroom without stumbling. When I get back out though, I trip over something and would have fallen except someone catches me.
“Easy Petal,” Aurora says softly. I wrench my arm out of her hands when I’m stable.
“I’m guessing you don’t like me very much,” she states. I shrug.
Aurora takes a deep breath, a thoughtful look on her face.
“Okay, listen. I know Taj very well. Maybe even better than you and you don’t need to get jealous over that. I’ve known him longer so that’s normal. I guess what I’m trying to say is that Taj loves you. I can see it in his eyes, in the way he talks about you. I’m not really sure why he hasn’t made a move or told you this but you can trust me on that.”
“You have feelings for him too.” I say it like an accusation.
Aurora smiles sadly.
“Do you know how many times I’ve asked him out? Four times. He rejected me every single time. The first time was when we were in college and then other times over the past few years. I don’t presume to know how he thinks but if a guy rejects a girl four times, it means he doesn’t like her at all and it also means the girl is pathetic.”
I don’t think Aurora is pathetic. I could never continue to put myself through something like that.
“So you’ve been in love with him for years?” I ask. She shakes her head.
“No. I’ve dated other guys and during those periods my feelings for Taj usually disappear, so I don’t think it’s love. He’s just always there I guess.”
“You guys sleep together,” I say.
“I was wondering when you would get to that,” Aurora tells me with a smile.
“We have, but a long time ago. It was in college and since then, he has turned me away anytime I move in that direction.”
