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And now she was standing on the other side of the room, with her back to him, confused and hurt, and desperately trying to hang on to that fiery temper of hers, because he’d just told her he wanted her to behave in a dignified manner.
When what he wanted… He sucked in a deep breath as a stunning truth blazed into his awareness.
She was trying to behave the way he’d said he wanted.
And she’d flung her arms round him, with every indication of feeling some affection for him.
Even though he’d treated her worse than a whore, bedding her with all the finesse of a sailor on shore leave, then leaving her sprawled naked in her bed as he stalked off to his own. Night after night.
When all he wanted to do was roll her to his side and hold her. Tight. All night long. And wake up with her. So that she would be the first thing he saw every morning.
And then she sniffed.
He glanced over his shoulder to see her furtively brushing something away from her cheek.
Dammit, he’d made her cry.
Which was unforgivable.
‘Clare,’ he said. ‘Don’t cry.’
‘I’m not crying,’ she said defiantly.
‘Of course not.’ He abandoned any pretence of being interested in the newspaper and walked across to where she stood, her back resolutely turned in his direction.
What was he doing? Pushing her away in an effort to prevent himself from being hurt when she eventually spurned him? Which meant that she was the one being hurt.
And then she sniffed again and the decision was made for him. Whatever the outcome for himself, she deserved better. Much better. And, anyway, hadn’t he survived the last time she’d spurned him? And he was no longer a callow youth with delusions that he could find true love. He was a man.
A man who couldn’t stay away from his wife for one second longer.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
‘Clare,’ he said, laying one hand tentatively on her shoulder. ‘I…that is…there was no need for me to have been so brusque with you just now.’
She turned to face him and lifted her chin. ‘Well, I should not have…flung myself at you in the street like that, should I? I am not surprised you lost your temper with me. I know I am not the wife you would have chosen, but I do want to be the best wife I can be and, if you do not like me to—’
He couldn’t stand there letting her try to shoulder the blame when absolutely nothing that had happened was in any way her fault. But nor was he ready to explain that she was the one who’d been forced into a marriage she hadn’t wanted, not him. So he took the simple expedient of stopping her mouth with a kiss.
She gasped, but then melted into his embrace. Though she didn’t respond with the kind of eagerness he’d become used to. She didn’t put her arms round him, for a start. Because his reaction to her hugging him had made her think he didn’t want her to. And she was trying to be the best wife she could be. Because she was that kind of girl. Giving and brave, and loyal to those she believed deserved her loyalty. He only had to think of how loyal she’d been to her selfish father and spendthrift brothers. Their father’s income had nearly all gone on providing them with an education, while he knew for a fact she didn’t even have a dowry worth mentioning. And even though they now all had decent livelihoods, not one of them had come to her aid when she’d needed it, apart from Clement. And all he’d done was arrange for the kind of post that only a truly indigent female should have to endure. Yet not one word had she ever said against them. Even when he’d caught her travelling on the public stage, in a coat she’d clearly dyed herself because they hadn’t given her the funds to obtain decent mourning garments.
She wouldn’t ever utter a word of complaint against him, either, no matter what he did. It would go against the grain.
‘Clare,’ he murmured ruefully, closing his eyes and leaning his forehead against hers. ‘What am I to do with you?’ He’d tried to prevent her from falling in love with him. Because he hadn’t wanted her to give him her heart. He didn’t deserve it. And he’d only break it when she found out what he was doing with her. He hadn’t wanted to live with that on his conscience.
