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Women of High Command are rigorously trained to be resistant to the male form. I was chosen for this mission precisely because of my extreme resilience in this area. And yet, despite all my training and fortitude, I glanced at this man for a heartbeat or two, and it tainted me.
That part. I replayed it again.
She was telling us that she’d seen men already. She’d looked right at dingdongs, or at least highly detailed visuals of them. It hadnevertainted her. Then, in the very next sentence, she is absurdly claiming that she was tainted in literally one second.
She was trying to get a hidden message through to us. The Khetar wanted her and Airlock as hostages. They’d even managed to snag a woman of High Command.
Even worse, Emissary had acted as a very dangerous commercial for the rumor of Khetar sexual prowess.Their dingdongs are so impressive and…dingdongy…that they’ll taint you in one heartbeat!
I didn’t buy it. I wouldn’t.
I took a route to the weapons bay that went around the path I expected Chief Athena to take to the bridge. I didn’t want to run into her and have to tell her what I was doing. I was sure about the hidden code in Emissary’s message, but I didn’t have time to make Chief as sure as I was.
I needed to get to Emissary and Airlock before the Khetar had hostages. Tainted or not, High Command would at least want to negotiate to get the women back so that we could exile them properly. My plan of “make the Khetar go away as fast as possible” was pretty much out the window if they had hostages. We’d have to talk to them and negotiate with them, meaning they’d have more time to try to taint us.
I wondered even if the women were even tainted. They probably weren’t. At least Emissary wasn’t. Maybe Airlock was strong too, and if I was fast enough, I might be able to save them both before they got tainted.
As for me? I wasn’t about to get tainted in one or two heartbeats. I was sure I could pull a trigger faster than an alien dingdong could taint me. I was Weapons for a reason.
I got into the weapons bay, which was a relief. Emissary or Athena could have chosen to lockdown the weapons bay, but they’d either neglected to think of it, or decided to keep it open.
I grabbed a plasma rifle. A C3-Eve-Splayer to be specific. Yes, the newest model with the coiled positron displacement valve. I smiled at it. It was a very good gun. It was the only dingdong shaped thing I needed right now. I’d shoot off a Khetar dick with it if too if it would save my crew mates from getting abducted.
I stared at the vacuum suits on the wall. I spent a few seconds mulling it over, but decided I needed to suit up. If I went in without a suit, the Khetar ship could probably create a vacuum on its end, sucking all the air out of the combat zone. Even more likely, I might simply reach a sealed airlock, then have to retrace all my steps, suit up, and then go all the way back, wasting more time than I would have just suited up properly in the first place.
It took me almost four minutes. On a good test suit-up I could do it in under two-and-a-half, but I was scared shitless. I really was. I was good at convincing myself I wasn’t scared, and I could hold that for a while, but when the fear finally came, it was that much worse. And it made my hands jitter as I tried to work all the little valves and zippers.
It’s too bad I couldn’t have held on for a few more minutes.
I breathed heavily as the visor flipped down. After a breath or two I could hear and feel the pressurized air, now hissing in tune with my lungs.
I grabbed the C3-Eve-Splayer in my gloved hands and headed toward the airlock.
At this point, if any woman tried to stop me, I’d just point the gun at them. I was all-in on this. Emissary and Airlock needed me, and they needed me fast.
The warning message from Emissary played again through the implants. It was probably a last attempt. A plea for me to hurry before the Khetar got her and Airlock into his ship.
I moved faster, despite the heft of the vacuum suit. When I reached the final airlock, I magnetized the gun to my suit and heaved the circular handle as fast as I could. Air hissed, but just a little. There was no rush of air. It was still pressurized on their end.
I stepped through, right into the belly of the alien beast, and I turned the corner with my plasma rifle raised. My finger was loose on the trigger, but I was ready to tighten it at the drop of a hat.
But it wasn’t a hat that dropped, it was my heart, because my eyes had locked onto that alien dingdong faster than a Stellar Class D9 Black Widow locks onto the plasma signature of a pirate’s skiff.
It was teal. It was big. It had veins popping out of it. It hung between the Khetar’s legs—which were so well sculpted, muscular, and truly and impressively massive that Goddess herself must have sculpted them. But try as I might to probe the rest of this teal masterwork with my eyes, they fell continually to his dingdong. It was like I was stuck in the event horizon of a blackhole, except this teal,beautifuldick was the singularity.
I ran my eyes up across the rest of him in bits and pieces. In stolen glances and hot breaths. Goddess. It was the missing link. My whole life, I hadn’t realized it, but everything in my universe had been asymmetric. There was this entire other shape of things, a natural and beautiful shape of people—or in this case, alien—that I’d never known.
Chiseled was the word that kept popping into my head. It was like this Khetar had been chiseled from solid marble. The muscles were like nothing I’d ever seen. Women who had trained well and eaten even better could have visible abdominal muscles. I’d had them at various points in my life, but I was much too into Aastrich burgers lately to have visible abs just right now. This man though—this Khetar’s abs—they were cut from stone. They formed their own shape unique to the male’s wide, very square torso, those bigger, thicker abs filled the volume in a way no woman’s abs could ever hope to achieve.
And they tapered downward, into a cut out little groove on either side of his abs, pointing directly down in an enticing “V”-shape. Those cut, muscular grooves pointed directly to the big teal alien dingdong, which I was currently visualizing going right into my kitty.
I trembled, suddenly remembering I was holding a C3-Eve-Slayer. My finger was still on the trigger. I tried to pull it. I said I’d shoot a dingdong off before it tainted me. But—
The alien smiled at me. All the things I could say about the way the male body is different from the female, I could say just as many things—if not more—about the face. It was a more subtle difference, but since the face is the window into the soul, each little difference struck me as more pronounced. His jaw was huge, for one. His cheekbones were sharp and high, and his eyes werehard. I’d never seen eyes so hard.
Then the Khetar smiled at Airlock, and she blushed. I blushed too, because I could see it at once, from the way that alien man’s eyes went from harder than I’d ever seen, to soft as silk, and I knew that freaking Airlock Eve had already gotten this one.
Rage and jealousy flooded through me. Sothisis what getting tainted felt like. It felt like shit.
I threw my gun down and fell to my knees. I lasted a half-second or so in that position before I looked up desperately, to gaze at the Khetar’s perfect body once again. Even though I knew I wasn’t going to have him, I could at least look at him. I was tainted, and indulging in that taint was all I had left.
Tears fell down my face. Weapons Sojourner. No one would ever call me that again.
