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‘I’d love that.’ Holly’s eyes flickered, the creases around them deepening as she smiled. She was thinking something, and Jen wished to God she could mind read. ‘And I—’
There was no time to hear the rest. Alison’s face loomed from the crowd. ‘I’m really thirsty; can we go to the bar as well?’
Holly looked confused and even a little hurt, but followed as Jen tugged on her hand, already a few steps ahead. ‘Yeah, sure.’
Jen felt like she couldn’t get her breath. This night was a racetrack – there was too much going on and all she wanted was to hit the pause button, rest her hands on her thighs, and pant.
No such luck.
The queue to the bar was a few people deep and Jen bounced on her heels as they waited. She felt like a sitting duck standing here. At least if they were in the crowd they would be a moving target. Time to ditch the bar distraction.
‘Hey, bestie,’ Chloe said, enveloping Jen in a hug from behind. She kissed her cheek. ‘We’re going to get a final beer, you in?’
Jen scanned the crowd. No sign. ‘Sure, why not.’
Holly’s eyes fixed on Jen, her stare hot on her skin. She couldn’t make eye contact, not now. She was already picking up on her weird vibe, if Jen looked her in the eye she would look straight through her, reading her very thoughts and knowing exactly what was wrong tonight. She couldn’t risk it.
‘You go, Clo. You always get served quicker,’ Jen said, her smile feeling faker by the second.
Chloe didn’t need asked twice and took on her mission with gusto.
Jen inhaled a long, wavering breath. The night was unravelling around her, control slipping further away with every heartbeat.
Holly put a hand on her waist and pulled her close as she whispered in Jen’s ear. ‘You okay? You seem, kinda. . . edgy.’
Jen found the confidence to make eye contact. ‘Yeah, yeah. Just getting nervous about being on stage.’
Holly nodded, her face dripping with scepticism.
A realisation hit Jen like a thunderbolt. She flinched. What if Chloe saw Alison? Fuck. This was like herding cats. Jen pulled at her T-shirt’s collar, feeling like she was at sea. In boat made of lava.
‘Babe, seriously, you okay?’ Holly asked, gripping her waist tighter.
Jen’s voice was a near gasp. ‘Yeah, just, I think I need some air.’
‘Sure, yeah.’ Holly patted Ryan on the back, stealing his attention from the queue. ‘Ryan, we’re just going to be over there, yeah?’
Ryan’s brow creased with concern. ‘Everything okay?’
‘Just too hot,’ Jen lied.
Holly led them through the crowd. ‘You don’t look good.’
‘Thanks.’
‘No, really. You’ve gone all pale.’
‘I’ll be good.’ Jen’s eyes were still firmly on the crowd. She’d lost her again. For now.
Chloe bounded into view, followed by Ryan, both clutching two beers in plastic cups.
‘You having a whitey?’ Chloe asked as she passed Jen her drink. She was only half-joking.
Holly scowled. ‘Told you.’
Jen shook her head. ‘Guys. Seriously. I’m good.’ She gritted her teeth and took a grounding breath before raising her cup. ‘To Lovefest.’
‘To Jen not spewing,’ Chloe countered.
