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36
‘Still nothing?’ Chloe asked.
Three days and the radio silence continued. If Jen thought not hearing from Holly for a day was bad, this was off the scale. It was like someone was holding Jen’s head under water; she wanted to scream and shout, gasp for breath, but her lungs burned instead, the weight on her chest getting heavier by the day.
‘Not a word.’ Jen twisted her glass, making the ice in her old -fashioned twirl and clink. In a bid to distract from her spiralling misery, Chloe had called round tonight, armed with the ingredients for a multitude of cocktails. Three drinks in, and it was working. Slightly. Jen was slowly becoming one with her couch, regardless. The longer this went on, the more her energy was drained.
‘What did Harry say?’ Chloe asked, lightly jabbing Jen’s thigh with her foot.
Jen took in a long breath, followed by a pitiful huff. She’d called into Taylor’s Deli today, hopeful to see Holly. No chance. She’d had a long conversation with Harry instead. At least he didn’t have any ill feelings.
‘He’s on Holly’s side, of course. But he implied if I gave her some breathing space she’d come around.’
‘Well, that’s a positive, surely?’
Jen felt her bottom lip wobble. She steadied herself. ‘I guess. But why’s she not been in touch?’
‘You’re reading into theI love youthing again, aren’t you?’
‘She would have said it back if she felt the same way.’
‘You’re being far too hard on yourself. You said what you feel. But it’s super early in your relationship. Just because Holly doesn’t feel it now, doesn’t mean she never will.’
Jen downed the rest of her drink and the heat of the alcohol settled in her throat, numbing the lump that had been lodged since the Lovefest event.
‘I should have stayed single.’
‘You won’t be saying that when she comes running back.’
‘I feel like she was looking for an out. I came on too strong.’
‘Now you’re definitely being stupid.’
Chloe was right. She was stupid. She’d given Harry a little wooden duck to pass onto Holly. It felt like the worst move in the world now. It was a silly little thing, a child’s toy, something she’d found in the boutique along from her shop. The chunky wooden toy was no bigger than an inch-and-a-bit tall, with a mallard duck painted on either side. It felt innocent, cute; a token of how much Holly meant to her, when she’d handed it to Harry. Now it screamed desperation.
‘I’m making another drink,’ Jen said, getting to her feet.
‘What’s up next?’
She shrugged. ‘I’ll make you anything you want. I’m just having whisky.’
‘Good thing you’re off tomorrow.’
‘Don’t.’
‘What?’
‘Remind me that I’m off.’
‘Is it not a good thing?’
Jen shook her head as she poured the whisky into her glass with a satisfying glug. ‘At least if I’m at work I have something else to think about.’
‘You never know,’ Chloe said, joining Jen in the kitchen. ‘Holly might come round here. She knows your schedule.’
There was a flicker of hope in Jen’s chest. ‘Has she said something to you?’
Chloe’s face turned serious. ‘No. Sorry. Just wishful thinking.’
