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37
Aweek since the event and Holly felt no better. She’d made the right decision, but the gap Jen had left was all encompassing.
Phone calls and texts were easily ignored.
But the tugging in her chest wasn’t.
Holly flopped onto the sofa, not entirely sure what she intended to do. TV felt wrong – nothing grabbed her attention. Books weren’t easy to focus on. Her mind kept wandering. She’d drawn for a bit this morning but now she felt all fizzy inside, like a wind-up toy being held in place. Maybe a walk. Fresh air would do her good.
In a bit. She’d go for a walk in a bit.
Holly let out a long, breathy sigh, and rubbed at her eyes.
How could someone get under your skin after such a short amount of time? Heck, they’d only properly dated for a week.
This wasn’t right.
She grabbed her phone from the coffee table, her finger hovering over Jen’s name. But she’d betrayed her trust in the worst possible way. There was no going back on that.
Fuck.She’d been going in circles for seven days.
Holly chucked her phone to the armchair and it bounced off, landing with a thud on the rug.
‘Urgh!’ she groaned. Her thoughts were nothing but mindless spirals, forever in a loop: she wanted to crack her head open and empty it.
Maybe Mum and Dad would let her get a dog. Company would be good right now.
She would be in the shop if it wasn’t for the fear of seeing Jen. The less time she spent there the better. Plus, it lowered the odds of Holly cracking and going next door herself. God, she missed her. Everything felt wrong, like her hands were never in quite the right position, her breathing was out of sync, and her heartbeat was going at a new rhythm. Restless didn’t cover it.
Holly hugged herself as she stared at the ceiling.Who does this after a month?It was ridiculous.
A knock at the door made her freeze.
She raised herself up on her forearm and listened.
Was Dad expecting a package? She couldn’t remember him saying anything. Although, she wasn’t the most attentive listener right now.
A second knock, harder this time.
She looked to the living room window, well aware she was in full view. What kind of delivery driver looks in a window? What if it was someone trying to sell gutter cleaning services? They might look in. If they were weird.
If it was a package they could leave a note, plus she was in no mood to talk to strangers. Especially about guttering.
She grabbed the closest pillow and hugged it to her chest. Days were getting longer, no doubt about it. Five o’clock got further away every morning.
She listened for the sound of a missed delivery slip being put through the letter box but nothing came. She’d made the right call. Bloody cold-callers. Who parted with their money on their doorstep anyway? Idiots.
The weather didn’t seem too bad. She could go see the Highland cows in Pollok Park if she went for a walk.
Holly sighed for the thousandth time, before placing the cushion back and sitting up at a speed that surprised herself. Her vision closed in, she scrunched her eyes shut, a hand to her temple until the feeling passed.Yuck.
No point moping about like some sad sack. Time to see the cows.
She looked a mess, but who cared? There was no one to run into. Trainers crammed on, she redid her messy bun in the hall mirror before shoving her denim jacket over her hoodie. She gave herself an assertive nod.Looking like a break-up personified. Nailing it, Hols.
Keys grabbed, she was halfway out the door before she clocked the car in the drive.
Jen.
