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23
Holly trudged up the stairs, each one harder to climb than the last.
Deliveries were nearly done for the day, but when she’d seen the name ping up as her next destination she’d had to fight the urge to dump the remaining orders and do a runner.
Chloe.
Jen’s reply last night was the final straw and she wasn’t embarrassed to admit she’d had a good cry in her room. The tears had helped ease the pain, but like all good band-aids, the feeling was only temporary.
It simply said:Yeah, sure. Take all the space you need.
Whatever reply she’d been expecting, it wasn’t that. So calm and casual, like she’d known Holly’s little secret for a while and already come to terms with it. She and Chloe had probably had a good chuckle over it.
Today wasn’t so bad. She’d woken braced for change. Still, it was strange not waking up to Jen’s usual messages. Holly had kidded herself it was just one of Jen’s days off: she always texted closer to eleven on those.See, you could never work. She’s not a morning person.
It had got harder to pretend as the day went on, and for the first time since she’d returned, Holly found herself noticing how little action her phone actually got. No one from London had been in touch since she left. Phones work both ways, but she was the one who’d been a mess. You soon find out who your real friends are when you hit rock bottom.
She’d spent the morning lazing around the house, a piece of toast hanging out of her mouth as she culled London people on social media. It was natural they’d prioritise their friendships with Shona when Holly was this far north, but she hadn’t expected to be forgotten so quickly. Maybe she wasn’t on their minds in the first place.
Old Holly would have let it sink a bad mood deeper, but today it was invigorating.Bye! Sayonara!No further ties to the old Holly.
She’d surprised herself with some of her answers to the sharing platter questions. Being around Jen made her relaxed, and instead of overthinking every little thing, walking on eggshells so as not to upset her partner, she found herself just answering. The audacity! Yes, she wanted kids. Yes, she had imagined her perfect wedding. No, she hadn’t been to her dream holiday destination yet. Were omelettes a stupid last meal? Not to Holly. Yes, Jen might have joked about some of her answers, but in a way that made Holly feel listened to, not ridiculed. And she’d teased back, only for Jen to gratefully receive. Holly had dreams. Holly had opinions. And they damn well mattered, too.
Mid-afternoon, she was ready to channel this new energy into something productive, so she entertained herself with business research, scribbling ideas down like a madwoman and poring over the books she’d been gifted. She’d never even dared to write her designs down before, never mind the dreams beyond that, for fear of Shona seeing and mocking her. Now though, she had a five-year plan. Well, the start of one. It was all just a matter of putting the first steps into action.
She was a live wire today, a growing fire in her belly. Yes, it was mainly fuelled by a need to distract herself, but there was also a feeling of balance. She was capable, she was worthy: she just needed to damn well get on with things.
She understood Dad’s intentions, but she was sick of having someone else call the shots. Now would be on her terms, not on someone else’s plan – waiting until the moment was right for anyone but her. She’d done enough of that in the last decade. This was her time, and she was ready to seize control.
If Jen eventually liked her, fair game. But she wasn’t going to delay her own dreams.
Holly paused on the stairs to Chloe’s flat, letting her legs rest a little and hoping her heart was only going a mile a minute because of the climb, not the potential of who was upstairs.
She remained on the step.What if Jen’s there?
Or worse, what if she wasn’t? Should she go say hello? No. She’d just told her she had feelings and then she’s going to show up at her door?That doesn’t look weird.
Holly was dreading the date this week. She’d made it super awkward. Why couldn’t she have waited until after Lovefest? Too late now.
An intimate evening of whisky and chocolate tasting.Really? You couldn’t have waited a week, Hols?Something told her Jen would be civil. If anyone was going to make it awkward it would be Holly. What worried her the most was how she would feel when she saw Jen. It was fine when there was distance, but in the flesh? How could she be friends who someone who drove her so wild? She’d all but made up her mind the friendship would be over with Lovefest.
Holly tensed her jaw and set off.Let’s make this quick.
Far too fast for her liking, Holly was at Chloe’s door. Today’s stuffy weather had her hot and bothered. She probably looked crap. She pulled at her long-sleeved top and adjusted her shorts.
A final breath and three hard knocks. Showtime.
Holly looked at Jen’s door.Please don’t see me.
After what felt like an age, the door creaked open to reveal Chloe’s beaming smile.
‘Hey, Chloe. Hamper for you,’ Holly said, already turning to leave as she handed it over.
‘Hey, wait.’ The redhead leaned on the door frame, resting the hamper on her hip.
Holly turned with the speed of a depressed sloth. ‘Yep?’
‘Can we, like, chat quickly? I promise, one minute. I know you’re busy.’
