AllFreeNovel
Share Us
21
Ian
Ian’s stomach roiled. It churned and raged like he was on a ship out to sea during a deadly storm. He knew better than to tell her he loved her. They’d only been together for a week. Of course she wasn’t ready for something as serious as proclaiming her feelings. That didn’t mean he wasn’t ready. He knew without a doubt how he felt. But he wasn’t prepared for the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach that made him want to run behind the nearest tree and lose his breakfast.
He’d never told anyone he loved them. Because he hadn’t felt that emotion, ever. Not like he felt for Jessica. And he might have just blown it sky-high. He’d overreacted when he saw the way she’d laughed with Brock.
The worst part was he couldn’t blame her. Nor could he blame Brock. This was his own insecurity, and no matter how much he wanted to push it aside, he couldn’t. It was this little green monster that had set up shop in his head and wouldn’t release its vise-like grip. It was small but persistent, and he hated it.
Ian swallowed down the bile that threatened to escape. It wasn’t fair to ask Jessica to open herself up like he had, not yet. He gave a gentle nod. “You don’t have to say anything right now. Of course you don’t.” Ian took off his hat and ran a hand through his hair. “Take as long as you need, but remember I meant every word.”
Jessica smiled. “I can feel it when we’re together.”
He let out a shuddering breath. Everything that was in his heart was out in the open now. He’d just have to trust everything would work out. Jessica laced her fingers with his and tugged him in the direction they’d come. Their steps synced up, and she rested her head on his shoulder as she clasped their linked hands with her other one.
Ian had lost his center. He really shouldn’t have blurted how he felt about her. If things didn’t work out, he’d be the one hurting. He shrugged off the thought. Patience. What had happened to his ability to sit back and let things happen? He’d been a master at observing the world around him and letting everyone else make fools of themselves. But the second it was his heart on the line, that talent escaped him.
He retrieved her hat, placing it on her head before they wandered down the row Brock had assigned them. A ladder had been set up about halfway down. Jessica got to work on the lower branches as he climbed up to the top rung and picked some of the fruit she couldn’t reach.
Every so often their gazes would meet and she’d smile, that beautiful blush glowing on her face. Her lips seemed to remain fixed in a permanent grin. Well, at least one thing had gone right. He’d wanted to make her happy, and it looked like she was.
Knowing that fact eased the ache in his chest that he couldn’t get rid of. If Jessica was happy, that was all that mattered at this point. Ian reached toward a branch that hung thick with leaves and a few large apples. Two of the six looked ready to pick. Carefully, he placed them in his bag, followed by a couple more.
Over the next thirty minutes, he moved down the row with Jessica, just enjoying her company. During one of their breaks, he glanced down at her. “So why did you want to come picking? I don’t think you told me.”
She looked up at him, squinting when the sun got in her eyes. “I’d only been working at the diner for a few weeks. The manager usually visited the farmer’s market on Wednesdays, but she had an appointment, I think. Everyone else had more responsibilities at the restaurant, so she sent me to go pick out the fruit for the pies.” Jessica smiled. “I’d never done anything like that before. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. But I didn’t want her to think I was useless, so I went.”
Jessica leaned against a tree and turned an apple she held in her hand. She met his eyes once again. “I watched a few of the shoppers pick up the fruit, inspect it, and decide whether to keep it or put it back. I even asked the person in charge of each table how to know which the best ones were. Honestly, I picked it up pretty quick. When I brought the fruit back to the diner, the manager was so impressed, it became my regular job. I can usually pick out the tastiest fruit just by looking at it.”
“Thatisimpressive. Any other hidden talents?”
She snorted. “I wouldn’t call it a talent.”
“You don’t have to be so modest. Not everyone knows a good apple when they see it.”
Jessica shrugged. “Maybe.”
“Maybe?” He chuckled. “Maybe there’s more for you to learn about yourself. Maybe you just need to find your passion and let that take you on the path that is meant for you. It’s like I keep saying. You should take a look at those college courses.”
“Ian—”
“I’m sure there’s something there that would speak to you.”
“Ian—”
“You’re doing great with the animals. You have a knack for cooking. I’m sure there’s more. You just have to—”
“Ian,” she muttered in exasperation. “We’ve beenthroughthis. I’m not going to take any courses. At least not any time soon. I need to save up first and figure out what I want to do with my life. That whole crazy thing that happened at the diner did one thing for me. It’s like my life has been reset. I can start over. I know if I stick around here, you will be lenient with my hours. There’s no rush. College will still exist when I’m ready.”
He plucked a leaf from a branch just above his head and tore pieces off of it. He didn’t remember being this impatient on other things. For some reason when it came to Jessica, he didn’t want delayed gratification. He’d waited his whole life for a girl like her to notice him and give him a chance. Now that he had her, he wanted everything to fall into place immediately. What was wrong with him?
Jessica dusted off her hands on her pants and glanced up at him again. “I think we’ve found all the apples on this row. Are you ready to move to the next?”
Ian nodded. With heavy steps, he moved down the ladder and landed on the soft earth. Old branches snapped beneath his feet. He returned a smile Jessica offered him even though he didn’t feel like doing so. She was so concerned about how he was feeling, he didn’t want to give her one more reason to worry.
It wasn’t fair. Everything had been going so well. Despite all the chaos, they’d made a connection. But now there was this chasm that opened up beneath him, and he couldn’t figure out a way to close it. Something just feltoff. But it was all in his head, right? She hadn’t changed. There was nothing wrong with her wanting to take things slow.
He let out a sigh and folded the small ladder to move it to the next row. Snapping branches drew his attention toward the far side of the trees. Cal ran toward him. Ian couldn’t make out his features from this distance. He waved his hands over his head as he approached.
