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She sighs, and I can hear her annoyance through the phone. I don’t mean to annoy her, but I’m grasping at straws at this rate. “Jake, I just can’t go there with you.”
“Go there with me, baby. I lo—” I almost said it again. Shit, shit, I almost said it again.
I hear her breath hitch on the line. She knows what I was about to say. “You what?” Her whisper heightens my senses.
I can’t say it just yet. I don’t know how she feels about me. I’m certain how I feel about her.
But are you?
I’ve never been so conflicted in my life.
“I dream of screwing you more times than I can count.”
Her breath hitches again. I close my eyes as I feel myself throbbing. “Jake...”
“I would show you how much I adore you. I would be the only guy who knows your body. It doesn’t matter who you met freshman year, no one else could have you. And I would take care of your magnificent body, baby. I would nurture it to my liking. So fucking much, baby. I would make my mark on you, you’d feel me inside you for days. It’d be so hot...torrid...God, am I far off, babe?” I can’t suppress my groan. Just thinking about it makes me hard.
I’m falling for this girl. I can’t see anyone else I’d rather be with. I want her like I want my next breath. I sit and wait for her response. The silence is killing me.Please say something, doll.
“No, Jake. You’re not far off,” she says after letting out a breath.
My eyes shoot open. Did I just imagine that? I shake my head in disbelief. “Yeah?” I sound excited because I am.
I adjust on the couch because I don’t know what to expect next.
She laughs over the phone, and I smile. “Yeah.”
That affirmation does wonders for my ego. I sigh in relief. Gosh, I’ve missed her.
“I can’t believe I’m telling you this. Clearly, I’m a masochist.”
She laughs a hearty one on the line. “And I’m glad you did, Jake.” For a second, I feel hopeful. Maybe she’ll return those feelings. “But this doesn’t change anything.” Again, she has this innate power to break my heart.
“Allie, please don’t do this.”
“Jake, I don’twantto do this. You’ll always have my heart. But I think we’re better off just friends right now. Or even acquaintances.” Each word is a harder blow to my gut. This is my own fault for calling her. I knew she still felt this way, but I was too optimistic. Too much has happened, and I ruined any chance of getting back together with her. “Jake?”
“Yeah, I heard you loud and clear. Merry Christmas, Leia.”
Her breath hitches when I say her name. I close my eyes in frustration. There’s a brief pause where we just listen to the other’s breathing. I miss her. “Merry Christmas, Larson.”
At that, she quickly hangs up, leaving me with my thoughts. I’m tempted to throw my phone across the room. No one is here, so I can do it to release some intensity. But I don’t. My hand is squeezing my phone instead. She rejected me.Again.
“You’re a no-good son of a bitch, Jacob. You focus on girls this much, and you will amount to nothing, you hear me?” I look up at him. I look down at the tuxedo I bought for prom.
“Dad, it’s just prom. I didn’t ask her to be my girlfriend.” But it doesn’t matter to Dan Larson. Any activity is a distraction from hockey.
“You think I give a shit aboutprom? You’reabovehigh school, Jacob! You’re a Division I college prospect.” I flinch as his voice rises in anger. I still look at the door, hoping to leave. I’m already late picking up my date. “Look at me, boy.”
I let out an annoyed sigh and slowly turn my gaze back to meet his. “I hear you, Dad.”
He raises his eyebrows at me. “Do you? Because it doesn’t seem like you do.”
“I don’t understand the point of this. I’m not going to cancel my date.” It seems what I said might’ve been the wrong thing to say.
He gives me a glare. “I’m not telling you to cancel your date, Jacob. I’ll let you go on this farce of a date if you damn well want to. But here’s a stark reminder for you: Girls are nothing but disappointment. They’re nice for a period of time, but after a while, they leave you, Jacob. Girls don’t care about you. Remember that the next time you become mesmerized by a pretty face.”
I was seventeen years old. Go. Figure.
