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“Please, Sarah, go away.” My voice sounds like a turtle in pain. I don’t want to do this right now. They like to comfort me when I’m down, but I’m just not in the mood to talk.
“I really want to, hun. But you have a guest looking to talk to you.”
My heart immediately stops. What? Who could possibly be asking for me? What’s more, why is she knocking? This is her room; she can just walk in.
Groaning, I get up from my bed and walk over to my door. Let’s just get this over with. I let out a long breath and wipe my face before slowly opening the door.
I find Sarah standing next to Jake’s…whatever she is to him. Rolling my eyes, I’m close to shutting the door.
Kris’s foot stops the door before I can. “Not so fast, girl. Let me in,” her husky voice says. Great, now Sarah and this girl don’t care about what I want.
“What do you want? Clearly, I’m busy.”
She gives me a look of disbelief. She walks up to me as I back into the room. Her hand reaches up and rubs the bottom of my eye, a patch of black on her thumb. “Busy, right. I can see that.” She gives me a small smile as she pushes her black hair back.
They both can obviously see through my bullshit. I’m still not getting a tell on what the hell it is she wants.
Sighing, I let them both in and wipe my face as I turn away from them.
“She stopped me at the track and asked for you. Normally, I wouldn’t let just anybody say they wanted to talk to you without your permission. But I figured you needed it after the year you’ve had.”
I hate when Sarah cares sometimes. She didn’t even like the bitch before;nowshe wants to bring her back to our dorm room?
Rolling my eyes, I flop down on my bed and face them. “What is this about? I was actually in the middle of something.” My eyes find my pillow with black marks on it. I quickly look back at Kris, her eyes already on the pillow. She gives me a pitiful smile. “Guys—”
“You two talk. I’m supposed to be meeting a friend down at the library.” She gives me a small smile and wink before leaving through the door.
I look back to Kris, who seems to be nervous.
“It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other, hasn’t it? You still look pretty.”
I raise my eyebrows at her. Is she flirting with me?Again?
“You realize this is weird, right?” This makes her flinch. She gives me another pitiful look.Get a grip, Leia. Yelling at her won’t help anything. Sighing, I relent. “Thanks...I guess.”
Sitting here and talking to a girl who Jake used to screw is just strange. I don’t feel comfortable at all. I look at the journal I threw across the room, the pages lying face down on the floor.
Her gaze follows mine and she looks back at me with a confused look. “What’s that?”
“It doesn’t matter. What brought you up here? I don’t want you here.”
She flinches again. What did she expect? I’m not exactly happy to see her right now. I’m not even sure Ilikeher at all.
“I just wanted to check on you, Leia. I know we’ll probably never be friends or even acquaintances, but Jake is stillmyfriend.” The scoff that comes out isn’t intentional. I’m not in the mood to talk about what her relationship is with Jake. She gives me a small grin before sitting in my desk chair. “Yes, we were screwing around for the last few years or so.” I grind my teeth at that. “But he’s not into me, Leia. He likesyou.”
“I really hope for your sake that this isn’t the reason you searched me out,” I deadpan. Sarah knew better than to just let this girl up here without at leastscreeningwhat she wanted.
She lets out a nervous sigh. “No, that’s not the only reason; but it is part of it.” I roll my eyes, and she begins to panic. “Look, hear me out. I’ve been hanging out with him lately—”
“Okay, it’s time for you to go.” I don’t want–orneed–to hear the rest of what she’s about to say.
“Leia, no, you have to understand.”
“I don’t have to understand anything.” Her eyes widen in surprise. “Sleep with him all you want. He’s not mine anymore. You had him first, so freakinggofor it.” I sound bitter right now, I know it. But her coming up here to rub it in my face that she’s seeing Jake Larson again is pissing me the fuck off.
“That’s not what I was going to say,” she whispers. “Jake misses you, Leia.”
The tears are welling up again. Those simple words make me tingle inside. But it’s a fantasy.
“Get. Out,” I grit out. She gives me a small smile. She slowly gets up and inches to the door. She gives me another look. “Now, Kris.” I lie face down on my pillow, and there’s maybe about five seconds of silence before the door opens and closes.
You’re the cause of your own pain, Leia.The more you push people away, the less you come to terms with your emotions.
With this in mind, it only makes me cry more into my pillow.
