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I’m annoyed at this conversation. I turn to leave, hoping I drove my point home.
“Leia,” her voice stops me. Sighing, I turn back around to see her giving me a sad smile. “This is totally off the record...but he fell for you, love. Do what you want with that information.”
My heart sinks again. The tears are back, and there’s nothing I can do to stop them from welling in my eyes. I wipe my eyes and exit her dorm.
JAKE
I might have a death wish, showing up at her dorm room.
Her journal in my hands, I look like a lame teenage boy from a ‘90s rom-com. Attached to the journal, I have a letter that I wrote.
I, Jake Larson, wrote a fuckingletterto a girl.
Again, she’s not just any girl.
Fuck me, her journal broke me many times over the past few weeks. Kris let me know that she knows her journal is missing. I should’ve returned it immediately, but I was just enamored with its contents.
My girl did an outline for success in college. If I didn’t know how I felt about her before, I certainly know now. What’s more...she had acrushon me last summer. I smiled when I read that sentence. I reread it multiple times just to satisfy myself.
I couldn’t walk away from this door after a rejection. She could spit on me and snatch the journal from my hands. Leia might be a sweet girl, but she has spunk that I’m discovering each and every day. I haven’t seen her in forever, but I know she’s still a mystery to me. Mystery or not, it’s time to return her journal and let her know how I feel.
Letting out a sigh, I gently knock on the door. I’m holding my breath.
Open the door, love.
The door suddenly opens, and I release my breath in relief. I expect to see Leia, but Sarah suddenly appears. She has a confused look on her face.
“Jake? What are you doing here?”
I’m mildly annoyed that Leia didn’t open the door. But disappointment is a part of life, I guess. “I, uh...”
She looks down at my hand. Her eyes widen in surprise as she looks behind her and closes the door. I back into the hall, Sarah lowering her voice. “Is that her journal?” she whispers.
“Yeah. I, uh, also wrote her a letter.” Sarah gives me a confused look as I hand her the journal. “Tell her I’m sorry for everything.”
I’m turning to leave, but her voice stops me.
“Jake—” She starts. “I’m sorry about how things turned out between you guys. She tries to act like she’s fine, but she’s not. I know my best friend.” She gives me a small smile. That vote of confidence makes me somewhat hopeful.
“Thanks, Sarah. It’s been a hard few months, but there’s not much we can do, is there?”
I already know the answer to this. I look at the door, knowing Leia’s in there. She’s been hiding out for the longest time.
She gives me a sad sigh before reaching to open the door. “Jake, you’re a go-getter. I see that already. You’ve been chasing her for a year. What discourages you now?” She gives me a pointed look.
That’s a question I can’t answer. I’ve been trying the same answer for the longest time, but I’m not even sure it’s a good answer anymore.
She gives me a wink before disappearing inside. I’m left staring at the door.
It was just nice to have a popular guy like him show even an ounce of interest in me.
Those words will continue to haunt me until the day I leave this campus. It broke my heart that she thought I’d shown an ‘ounce’ of interest in her.
I have to let this go.
Let it go, Jake. Let. It. Go.
LEIA
