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| 28
I’m happy for him. I really am.
This is what I keep telling myself as I leave the frat. I look back up at the house, realizing that’s probably the last time I’ll see Jake Larson. That call he got from the team only confirms one thing: he’s out of my league. Sooner or later, he’s going to become a hotshot professional hockey player. He was larger than life in college, but once he hits the pros...all bets are off.
I knew all along he and I were never meant to be. He’s the son of a famous hockey player; I’m nobody. I barely even have a hobby that would make me interesting in his eyes. I was kidding myself if I really thought this was going somewhere.
The tears are welling in my eyes as I walk back to my dorm. I have an hour before I need to rent a U-Haul to drive everything back to Sherman Oaks. I need to leave this year behind and figure out my passion this summer.
This. Blows.
“You bastard,” a familiar voice says in front of me.
I look up and see Stephanie throw what looks like a wad of panties at Nick’s head. What the hell?
“Can you calm down?” He tries to quiet her, but she’s not budging. She has makeup running down her face, and her eyes are tear-ridden. I hide behind a nearby wall. “We don’t need to broadcast shit to everyone on campus.”
I frown at that. What could they possibly be talking about?
“You fuck me for months onend, and then you decide you want thatbitchback?” she screeches, and I flinch. “I was willing to help you humiliate her, but this is overkill,” she growls.
My heartbeat speeds up. Humiliate who?Me?
“Why are you bothered by thisnow? It wasn’t an issue before. The plan was simple; you slip a tablet in her drink, and I get what I rightfully deserved for the four years of being with that prude,” he retorts.
I freeze, not believing what I’m hearing behind this wall.
I get what I rightfully deserved for the four years of being with that prude.
The tears are welling up again.
“And you got it! You can’t tell me youactuallywant her back after that. Once she finds out you took advantage of her, she’llneverlet you near her again.”
I feel hollow. The words are becoming a blur as their mouths continue moving.
Is this real? How can Stephanie agree to something like this?
“Luckily, she won’t find out, will she?” He gives her a pointed look as he bolts away from her, tears still streaming down her face. She wipes her face and runs back inside her dorm.
I keep replaying their conversation in my head. It’s a ghost of everything said and unsaid.
Nick Swanson believes he deserved my body.
Nick Swanson thinks he got what he rightfully deserved.
Nick Swanson took advantage of me.
Sometime after, I make it back to my dorm room. The boxes are still in the corner, and everything in the room is empty. Sarah and Taya must’ve gone home already. Now, it’s just me...alone.
I feel putrid. Like something was stripped away from me and I had no idea. There’s something about me that feels uneasy. I’m helpless. There’s nothing to report, since it was almost two months ago. I’m all alone for this one.
Ineedto get out of here.
I need to get the hell away from this campus for a long time.
A sob makes its way out. I limp to my bed, pull out my laptop, and open my email. I draft an email to Professor Moseby.
This will be good for me.
