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It hurts so fucking bad seeing her at the beach.
She was gorgeous last year. But she’sstunningnow. And she’s still with that guy? How the fuck is that possible? How am I losing to a fuckingfreshman? What am I missing?
“Your towel.” I jump at the familiar voice behind me. I turn to see my beautiful girl, black waves down her back. I’m some miles down the beach as the guys are off in the distance, playing volleyball. I needed a break after seeing her jump into another guy’s arms, so I walked a bit down the beach. I didn’t expect her to follow me, though. “You forgot your towel,” she reiterates, booting me out of my moment of silence.
“Thanks. Long time no see.”
Her eyes brighten as she nervously scratches her elbow.
“Yeah, it’s been a while, huh?”
Longer than I’d like. She seems so much more blossomed now. Not in a weird way. Her energy is amazing now. More so than before, and I can’t put my finger on it. I’m so enamored to the point where I say the first thing that comes to my mind.
“You look good, Leia.” She does. She was in great shape last year, but even more so now. Her thighs are more muscular, and her hips are more defined. She’s gorgeous. Coming into her own.
“So do you, Jake.” We have a brief staring contest. As if we know what the other is thinking. “You still go to Rubenstein, right?”
“Yep. Senior year, babe.” I flinch. I really need to watch what I say to her. But she doesn’t notice.
“Nice. I actually just graduated, and I’ll be going there this fall.”
I smile with that new knowledge. “That’s awesome. I’m proud of you.”
She furrows her brows. “You’re proud of me? Thanks, Dad,” she jokes.
“I’m serious, hun. That’s awesome.”
Her face softens. She begins to say something, but her boy toy calls out to her.
“Hey, the party’s at my villa! You coming?”
She looks at him and then back to me.Man, do I want her to stay. But they’re her friends, her boyfriend...her age. She clears her throat and gives me a hug. I wish she hadn’t, she feels so perfect in my arms. So small. Almost too soon, she backs away and gives me a small smile before catching up with her friends.
This. Is. Torture. I don’t know how I went a full year, pretending I didn’t want her. She’s stunning, funny, smart...and I can’t have her.
I’m instantly brought back to our ‘fling’ last summer. How willingly she came to me. How good she felt when we danced together. She was the most free-spirited girl I knew...and she was only sixteen. We were fluid last summer—the “best of friends” for what little time we had to be friends...and made out once at a party. Never went further. But I can’t lie and say I don’t miss how we were.God, how I miss that summer fun. But that was then...this is now. And now I’m just an outsider looking in.
LEIA
I saw him. Jake freaking Larson.
And it was the scariest thing in my life. The energy between us was different. Last summer, I was just excited to meet a college guy. Now...it just scares me to acknowledge he’s still going to be in my life.
My first year in college is almost two months away, and I’m back at Rubenstein for training. It was just a normal day at the beach. I was eating Skittles, hanging with my girls, getting a surprise visit from Nick after not seeing him all summer.
Then Jake Larson happened. Staring in the distance. Looking intense as ever. I’m so afraid of Jake Larsonbecausehe’s so intense. But there’s still that attraction there I can’t deny. I’m instantly brought back to what could’ve been. What if we’d done more than just kissing? What if I hadn’t stopped him? What if I’d asked him more about the bruise on his arm? But I can’t keep thinking about what could’ve been. Especially since I’m supposed to be having fun at this villa.
Nick’s summer villa, to be exact. I don’t even think we’re supposed to be here. This is his family’s villa, and I’m finding it hard to believe that his parents gave the okay to have a party while they’re out of the country. I’m close to voicing this concern before Nick leaves me in the chair we’re sitting in together to jump into the pool.
A roar of cheers sound in the backyard. He gives his winning smile and bows before his friends. The sort of braggadocio you’d see from a magician. His friends love the bravado. Maybe that’s why he shows them more attention than his own girlfriend.
Here I am, sitting in a pool chair, watching as he starts a game of pool volleyball. Taya and Sarah couldn’t make it tonight. Just his friends. And random girls, trying to get their pick at this villa party. Single gals, walking around, swimming and flirting with any guy they can. Even one swimming up to Nick as he tosses the ball back over the net. She taps him on the shoulder in a sultry manner, and he turns around.
I was expecting him to show some sort of disinterest. But of course, I’m disappointed. He seems evenmoredelighted than I was hoping. She flips her blond hair away from her face and leans in, whispering something in his ear. He laughs and pulls her next to him as he continues playing.
This is a usual instance at his villa parties. Me, sitting in a corner, having no one to talk to. Nick, somehow finding a new girl to chat and flirt with throughout the night. You’d think I wasn’t even his girlfriend. She wraps her arms around his waist playfully, and I stiffen. He pushes her hands off of him, laughing as if I wasn’t present at this party. She leans in to kiss his cheek. Fed up, I stand and slip on my swimsuit cover-up. Nick’s eyes suddenly shoot to me with a look of concern.Now he wants to acknowledge that I’m here? Already over it, I walk back inside the villa to grab my keys.
