Page 18 of Julian


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CHAPTER SEVEN

GIA

I sat in the tub with the shower head turned on as water fell over my head. I needed time to think and I had hoped he would not bother me if he thought I was taking a shower. I looked up and the water stung my eyes. Even now, away from The Wonder Project, they were still controlling me. Even if I got this thing out of my head, they would still control me. They will always have their claws buried deep in my soul. I know I had a life before them, but no matter how hard I tried, The Wonder Project was the only memory.

I was still trying to work out why Julian cared so much. I know he had made a promise to Morla, but it felt like there was more to it. I slapped my forehead over and over willing my brain to remember but I kept coming up empty.

In complete anger, I decided this was doing nothing for me, except for making me dread the moment when the water turned cold. I huffed and cursed as I stood to get out. After I wrapped a towel around me, I climbed into his bed. Maybe my subconscious could answer my questions in dream land.

As I settled under the covers, the smell of his cologne wafted through the air. I rolled over to see him leaning against the doorway, arms crossed over his chest.

“Julian, I am not going to do this with you again.”

“Let me talk,” he held his hands out palms facing me in surrender. “I know a lot has happened over the past couple of weeks and I know how scary it can all be. Believe me, I understand. I keep wondering why… like, why you won’t go through with the surgery…”

“Julian-”

“Let me finish,” he walked over to the bed and sat on the edge. “I know it has to do with that place you came from. They put you through plenty and practically made you their own personal guinea pig. I get it. I get that the surgery reminds you of all-“

“No, Julian you don’t understand. You don’t get it,” my voice cracked giving away my true feelings I was trying to cover up. “I am not some goddamn charity case. I was built to end anything good. They took my life and tossed it away like trash. Whoever I was before, I don’t remember. All I remember is waking up in a white sterile room and being told this was how all humans were created. Can you imagine? They convince me that I was there to serve them and the people we…the people I eliminated were just dysfunctional. They made us kill people. It all sounds so insane just saying it out loud. For Christ sakes I have killed seventeen people. Seventeen. So no, you don’t get it.”

“Gia…” he reached out to put his arms around me, but I shrunk back out of impulse.

“I am not like you Julian. I don’t have a big heart. I’m not some nice guy who picks up strays to save them. I don’t deserve any of this,” I waved my arm around wildly as the towel that had been covering me, slipped to expose nearly all of my chest.

Julian’s eyes moved from mine to the now exposed flesh then back to my face.

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“Rather than stand up to them, I ran and hid with Morla. I did nothing to fight back and they still took her from me. They killed her because she was trying to protect me! I bring danger wherever I go. You might have the money you might have the means to try but…but TheWonder Project is a complex framework. They’ll swallow you whole and not even care.”

“Gia, I’m just asking you to trust me,” he grabbed my hands. “You think I’m some naive vigilante?” he pulled his t-shirt over his head. “See all these?” he asked pointing to scars.

I was looking at not just his scars, but those bulging muscles. They may have erased my past, but they never erased my desire for carnal pleasures.

“…all I’m asking is that you trust me,” my mind was trying to focus on his words.

I cleared my throat.

“You can’t do anything to protect me,” I spoke up. “I have stuff to bury them, I just need to work a few things out.”

“For fuck’s sake woman. You have no other option but to trust me. You think you have something to hide? Do you think Morla just found my number out of the blue and asked me to take care of you? I knew exactly what I was signing up for. I mean, I didn’t realize surgery would be part of it, but I knew about the risks.”

“You don’t know,” I croaked. “You don’t.”

“I do,” he whispered kissing the tears that had started to stream down my cheeks.

Morla and I used to watch romance movies on TV, and I knew what intense moments like this seemed to be about, the only difference was that I was feeling it, and it was blooming fast within me.

“Will you just take a leap of faith with me?” he breathed against my skin.

I pulled his head back and searched his eyes. Did he truly know the risk he was taking with me? Why was he so tender with me? Part of me just wanted to use him for a warm bed and a hot meal, but something deeper nagged at me. Every time I tried to put my finger on it, it disappeared. This was another one of those moments.

He put his finger under my chin and leaned forward to softly kiss me. I felt a tingle. I had been with other men before him but only while out on the job and only to fill my physical needs. Something about this was different, familiar.

Julian started kissing my exposed flesh and I suddenly realized I had not been with a man since Morla saved me. He pulled back the covers and with them went the towel. My still damp body prickled in the cool air.

“Mmm, I was not expecting that,” he chuckled. “You trust me Gia and I will take care of you; I promise.”

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