Page 108 of No Funny Business


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It’s Anderson Vanderson, the host of The Late Night Show. He towers over us like a Conan O’Brien but with the boyish face of a John Mulaney.

“Hey, guys, hope I’m not interrupting anything,” he says with a smile that’s much too shy for his superstar status.

“No, not at all. Come on in,” Nick says.

“How y’all doing? I’m Anderson Vanderson.” The TV host offers his hand to each of us. Holy crap. Am I even breathing right now?

“Hi, Anderson Vanderson,” I say, starstruck.

“Hi.” He grins at me like I’m funny. Funny-looking, that is. “I caught your show out there, it was very entertaining.” He was in the audience? Oh, thank God I didn’t know he was there, I probably would’ve choked on my nerves. He’s a comedy genius.

“Thank you, Anderson Vanderson,” I say, grinning.

“Call me Anderson.”

“Okay.” I haven’t blinked since I touched his hand. Amy and my Aunt Carla are going to flip when I tell them about this.

“Any chance I could interest you two in coming on The Late Night Show?”

Nick’s brows shoot up. “You mean a stand-up spot?”

Meanwhile, I’m totally speechless, so much so that Imani has to nudge me in the ribs. “On The Late Night Show?” I spit out.

“Yes, that’s what I’m proposing.” He must think we’re a little high the way we’re responding all slow and Herb-like.

“Just like that?” Nick asks. “No audition?”

“No audition. I’ve seen what I need to. The crowd loves you two. And I think America will too.”

“I, um, I don’t know what to say,” I stutter.

“How ’bout yes.” Anderson claps his hands once but it’s not enough to break the spell.

“Yes!” I shout, flashing him the happiest smile of my life. “We’d love to come on your show. Right, Nick?”

“Absolutely,” Nick says, and shakes the man’s hand.

“Fantastic. Here’s my card. Call my office tomorrow and they’ll get you in touch with the booker to get you scheduled, all right? I’m headed out now but I’ll see you on the show soon.”

“Okay. Thanks! Bye!” We send him off, waving like we’re characters in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. This is definitely something to be thankful for.

The moment the door closes, the three of us look to one another and cheer like crazy. “Aaahhhhh!” Hands waving in the air. Champagne spilling out of glasses. Jumping and dancing around like we just won all the laughs in the world.

“I just got a spot on The Late Night Show!” I say.

“I know. I just got a spot on The Late Night Show too!”

“Holy shit, Anderson Vanderson just saw your show and loved it!” Imani chimes in, and grabs me by the shoulders, bringing me in for another squeeze. When she lets me go, Nick and I go for each other.

“See, Olivia Vincent. I knew you were a winner,” he says.

Without a word, and without regard for Imani standing right next to us, Nick lays a victorious kiss on me and I let him.

We may not have New York but at least we’ll have The Late Night Show.

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