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His fists clenched at his sides.
“How did it go with the soldiers?”
“Very good,” he answered.
“Does that mean that Arabella and Lizzie are safe now?”
“And you,” he said, his longing forgotten at her odd choice of words. “How are you and Arabella getting along?”
“She’s wonderful,” Lily said. “I’m so glad to have met her.”
There it was again. Something was off in that word choice. “Do you think you’ll stay with her, then? In London, since you don’t want to go back with your brothers.”
Or me, he silently added, testing the idea. It didn’t fill him with dread at all. In fact, warmth flooded his stomach.
“Oh, I don’t know. She’s just married. I wouldn’t want to intrude on her life with Edge.”
“And you’re a woman who takes care of herself.”
“That’s right.”
“If you rely on no one, you won’t be hurt.”
She stepped around the screen, her skin damp and glistening in the moonlight. She wore her chemise but not much else, and the tension returned with a veracity that stole his breath. “How did you know that?”
He couldn’t help it. He reached out and brushed his fingers through her hair. “Because it’s how I feel too.”
She shook her head. “Who could have hurt you? You’re a lord of the realm, so strong and capable.”
He moved closer, his other hand slipping down her shoulder. “I was once a boy, and a title doesn’t save you from bad parenting. Your brother Bash can attest to that.”
Her eyes widened even as she lifted her fingertips to brush down the front of his shirt. “Do you want to tell me about him?”
He took a step back, needing some space. His head was swimming and he turned, disappearing behind the screen and stripping down to take his own turn with the now tepid water.
“Like your father, mine had a mistress. I was on the other side of the dealings, I suppose. And yet, my father couldn’t have been clearer. His other family was the one he loved.”
He heard her suck in her breath. “Ash.”
“I understand when you say you wish to rely on no one but yourself. I feel the same lots of times. I…” He didn’t want to say more than was necessary. “But I’m glad to have you to talk to. It’s been nice.”
She let out a soft laugh and then he heard the covers rustle as he finished bathing. “I’m glad I’ve had you to save my life. Twice. That’s been nice too.”
What would she say if he asked to make their relationship more…permanent? He wasn’t ready to say the words out loud. He was still testing them inside his thoughts, but they felt good. Warm. They tickled his tongue, wanting to slip out.
His father had married his mother out of duty. He hadn’t held that detail back from Ash. But his heart had belonged to his mistress. Men of power were supposed to marry women who furthered their holdings. They could dally with the lower classes, but they were not to marry them.
Not that he gave a damn what society deemed appropriate.
He stepped out from behind the screen to find her lying on her side, her head propped up on her hand. Moving toward the bed, he drank the sight of Lily in as she slid onto her back. He stood over her for just a moment before he dropped his hands to either side of her body. “I’m going to kiss you now.”
“Thank goodness,” she replied, reaching up to him, her hands sliding along his biceps. Then she stopped. “Ash.”
What?” he asked, trying to keep the impatience out of his voice.
“I can’t do that. We can kiss. But…” She swallowed. “I can never put myself in the position my mother found herself in.”
His heart tugged. “I know. I’d never ask you to. But that doesn’t mean I can’t give you a bit of pleasure.”
