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Her attention dropped to her hand before her stare shot back up, her expression wide-eyed and motionless.
In an instant, he forgot his throbbing shin, and once more, she tucked her injured hand behind her back as if her injury were a source of shame.
Something inside him broke, a chasm opening within him like a hot knife dragging over soft butter. They’d spent years apart, and already he knew this outburst wasn’t normal for her. Something had happened to sweet-natured Emilia. Something or someone had changed her.
Her brow crinkled at the center, and prickly energy flowed from her. “What is it with you guys and not listening to the word ‘NO’?”
That sharp sensation in him collapsed, the chasm deepening, one layer of understanding after another.
Her eyes glistened, but no tears fell. All she did was sag against the sink’s edge, attention falling to the ground while she shook her head.
“Emilia.” He curled his hands at his side, forcing himself not to move and especially not to touch her. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
She glanced up, her cheekbones bunching into a scowl. “About which part?”
God, he was so confused; somehow his brain conjured all possibilities while unable, or unwilling, to decipher all the new information flooding in.
A familiar, dull ache squeezed at his ribcage, pressure coming at him from all angles. His memories of her past. The horrible people who’d surrounded her. People who’d never stopped for a second to think about what she wanted.
They’d gone so far as to resort to violence, forcing him out, because he didn’t measure up to the plans drawn up for her life. But surely this, this scared and wounded woman, wasn’t what they’d wanted either.
Or was it?
He’d hoped she’d figured out a way to shake them off, but maybe she hadn’t.
Guilt burrowed down into his bones. Maybe he should have done more to save her. But what? He’d been little more than a kid himself.
So, he reached up now to the thick, jagged scar at the base of his neck and offered what closeness he could. He ran his fingers over the scar, waiting until her attention found him again. “I know a little about your problems, Emilia. You don’t have to do this alone.”
Dark pools opened in the center of her eyes. She remembered the scar and how he’d gotten it. She wasn’t the only one carrying battle wounds here.
“I keep forgetting.” Her face paled, and this time, a tear did roll down her cheek. “I’m the one who should still be apologizing.”
The afternoon sun shone strong through the window behind her, light catching the edges of her hair, those incandescent beams igniting a halo of deep chocolate and auburn tones. The years had refined her beauty, while remnants of her youth lived on in her soft, angelic features. Those features doomed him now as fiercely as they had ten years ago.
The gentle and compassionate Emilia he’d known was back. The one he’d loved into literal ruin. The reminder of that love hurt about as much as it made his heart sing.
He shook his head, wanting to absorb her pain. “It happened a long time ago, and you’re not the one who should be apologizing.”
She blinked. Another tear fell, one that she swiped at. And then a broken laugh pushed past her lips. “I can’t do this.”
She surged forward, brushing past him on her way to the door.
“Emilia.” He spun around to follow her.
She held a hand up, signaling for him to leave her alone. “If you have to get work done here, then do it, but we really should stop hurting each other.”
A sickening feeling seized him, and still, he stayed where he stood and respected her wishes. God knew, not enough people had.
He wanted to tell himself to let her go, that he could move on from her again. But none of that was true. With this single interaction, he’d handed over his power to her once more and gotten sucked back into wanting to be there for her. That truth was agonizing. And so was the truth that Emilia remained the only woman he’d never been able to escape. He knew that now more than ever.
Yes, he had work to do, but some things were more important than work. Things like maintaining his sanity and reducing the cracks forming around his heart.
Right now, the gaping silence in this bathroom was more than he could bear. It screamed for him to go. Now. Or completely lose his wits and the life he’d worked so hard to scrape together.
