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He reached out and touched her face, eyes darkening, his thumb skimming her lower lip and tempting her to press her lips forward and kiss him. Damn the man, he played her at every turn. “Listen, I know you’re worried, but stop acting like you don’t care. We both know your empathy is what brought us together in the first place.”
His husky tone and the reference to that first meeting, the one where he’d been a scraggly teenager in the wrong place at the right time, drew her in.
His eyes glittered now. He saw his effect on her, his ability to pluck once more at her willingness to stand her ground. “Having someone to share everything with, having love, is another worthwhile payoff, don’t you think?”
Her lips parted, a piece of her heart melting at his continued touch. No.
The very word “love” left a bitter taste on her tongue, and still, she stayed in his hold.
“Blaine, sometimes love doesn’t save the day, and not all dreams are meant to come true.” She turned her cheek, giving in to her desire to kiss his hand. “My experience of love is that it steals dreams and reduces you to something you never thought you’d be. Just look at us. I’m heading toward divorce, and you just got out of an engagement. Love hasn’t done either of us any good.”
“And I’d say there’s more to love than what either of us have seen.”
A pit opened in her stomach, or maybe that pit was more a landslide, or maybe just the sense that she couldn’t stick with a decision, her mind flip-flopping between options with each rolling second. “Good thing we’re not in love.”
The glint in his eye intensified, and he placed one hand on the counter, leaning in, stealing more space. “Are you sure about that?”
Breath escaped her, her resolve faltering as she scrambled for a reply that wouldn’t come. Of course, Blaine used her silence as another chance to reel her in. “You loved me once, didn’t you?”
Oh God, the low rumble of his voice, the way he wouldn’t quit staring her down…
She clamped her teeth together, wanting to cry, wanting to run, wanting to throw herself at him and never let go. Being around him was just too confusing.
“Emilia?”
He closed the final space between them, melting her further, making her believe that maybe they could transcend whatever trouble she was in.
The words finally escaped. A previously unspoken desire, one she hadn’t even voiced to herself. “I wish things could be that simple.”
He reached out and tucked a loose curl behind her ear, and she let him, even though her brain continued to deny. “They could be.”
“No. For the first time ever, I have the life I’ve always wanted. And I’m stuck somewhere between wanting to run with my freedom and laying down my roots here in Harlow, maybe even with you too.”
“Emilia.” He took hold of her chin and ensured that she faced him. “I’m not asking you to give anything up. I want to see you thrive. I want to be there for you while you do. So back to the topic of simplicity, all you have to do is say yes.”
“Yes”—her heart slowed as if it wanted to stop altogether, but she needed to give him the full answer—“but I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“Let me worry about my feelings.”
This was bigger than feelings. He could get hurt. Physically hurt. Just like the last time. And he had no idea about any of it.
“And”—he paused, the dark centers of his eyes turning into infinite pools, while his lips curled into a slow smile—“remember, honey, whatever you’re going through, you’re not alone anymore.”
Her heart shifted again, wanting to deny it, wanting to escape the truth here. He wouldn’t leave her, and she didn’t want him to.
Maybe Blaine was right. She was being a coward.
A weak, sniveling, wormy coward.
No, I’m not a coward. I’m overwhelmed.
The room went impossibly quiet, and her chest hurt at the first hint that she too could be gentle with herself. She was overwhelmed, but not as overwhelmed as the night she’d spent holed up alone in her room waiting for the sun to rise, so she could escape her terrifying husband.
She’d been strong. Wasstill strong. She could be strong and overwhelmed at the same time. The two could co-exist. So maybe she could focus on what had brought her here in the first place. Her desire for freedom. She’d fought so hard to choose her own destiny, and right now, Blaine stood before her offering her a new life. One she maybe did want. Had always wanted, all along.
She honed her focus on him, no longer needing to second guess her decision, no longer allowing Anthony and the fear he’d instilled in her to hold her back. “Be my date to the soiree.”
Blaine jolted, visibly stunned. Maybe she was a little stunned too. She hadn’t really planned on asking him, though now that she did, the request felt right.
