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As I write this I’m watching you sleep, and to know it’s the last time I’ll ever have the right to is like a knife through my heart. You look so beautiful. I can’t believe I’ve lost you.
I am going for a long drive. Not sure where, but I need some time to think. Please tell Mia her daddy loves her and I will be back for her next weekend, if that is okay with you. We can talk about the details of who she will be with. She is the most important thing in both our lives, I have no doubt about that. I know we will be able to work out a way that we can both be there for her always. You are the best mother I could have ever chosen for my child; I hope you think the same of me.
Cris…
I miss you already, more than you will ever know. I have loved you from the moment I saw you sitting behind that counter, with those hazel eyes that touched my soul. I have loved you more than I have ever loved anyone, and no matter where life takes us, I will always love you. You are my forever.
I love you,
Owen
Mia wakes up and comes down to find me holding the sheet tightly to my chest.
“Momma, is today school?” she asks, moving the paper away so that she can sit on my lap. She doesn’t care that I’m sad, and she has no inclination of how much my life has changed. “Momma!”
“Yes, baby, there is school. Let’s get you ready before we’re late,” I say, getting to it, glad for the distraction that having a child brings. There is no time to dwell. I’d already called out of work yesterday, though, so that once Mia was in school I would have plenty of time to digest everything that’s happened. There would be plenty of time to think about the chapter in my life that has just ended, and the new one that’s about to begin.
