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Wrinkling my nose at her, I say, “What? It’s not like these people haven’t fucked before.” I don’t normally like to be so crass or make anyone uncomfortable, it’s just that I can’t help but push buttons. It’s fun!
Liz shakes her head and gently places her empty cup on the distressed wood table. Sheridan is snickering to my left and it makes me giggle even more to see Liz’s feathers ruffled.
“Cat, it’s not about sex,” Liz says serious as hell. “It’s about having a partner. A man for your trip that you never have to see again. You have similar interests, so no fights on where to go. For all intents and purposes, this man is your boyfriend on vacation.”
“So, you’ve done it what, twice?” Sher asks.
“Three times. Honey, it’s the best thing I’ve ever done.” Liz throws in a little nod as confirmation that what she says, is true.
I shake my head. “I don’t think I could ever go on a trip with some random dude and be expected to sleep with him.” Kiss him in the hallway of a crowded bar… maybe. But not outright sleep with a stranger. Maybe.
“First of all, it’s not some random dude. Secondly, you’re not expected to sleep with them,” Liz says.
“Oh really?” Sher sounds as incredulous as I feel. “So you don’t get booked into a small room with one bed and a guy?”
“That’s not exactly how it is.” Liz sits straighter in her seat and I know she’s getting ready to set us straight.
“Honestly that doesn’t sound too bad to me. If I don’t do something soon, I’m going to turn into a wino. I need a vacation and a fuck,” Sher says, making me giggle at her use of the word. “And a good one, too. It’s been so long and I really need to feel a man all over me. I don’t need love, just lots and lots of lust!” She runs her hands down her chest to her legs and we both laugh.
“What you really need then isn’t a vacation, babe, you need a sexcation!” I exclaim.
“Yeah! Sexcation! Maybe I SHOULD call this Well place!” Sher says. “I wonder if they let you pick the guy from a line up. Like window shopping.”
Liz, serious as ever, doesn’t find this amusing. “Look, this is a classy agency, not an escort service. It’s more of a… match making agency. Just like an online dating site where they hook you up. Only in this case, you’re being sent away on an amazing vacation. You’re not guaranteed sex, that is something that may happen, but it’s not what you’re paying for.”
“But it’s happened to you every time,” I state.
“Yes. But I didn’t pay for the sex, I paid for the match and the trip.”
I sit up. “You went in with three boxes of condoms, Lizard. I was with you when you bought them!”
“That was just in case,” Liz says and sits up straighter.
I dig in a little more because I love it. “In case you had the sex you were going in to have for sure.”
“I was going to Spain, which I’d wanted to go to for years. I didn’t want to go alone, and Tom and I really hit it off.”
“Did you go with him all three times?” Sher asks.
“No, first it was Mike, then Salomon. I like variety,” Liz shrugs.
“So, you don’t pay for the sex, you pay for the trip and they just happen to set you up with someone they like. Are they prostitutes?” Sher asks because it really doesn’t make sense. “If you are just paying for the trip, why not set you up with anyone and they place you in separate rooms? No funny business.”
“Well, you could, there are places that do that. But I want the sex,” Liz says.
This response just makes me laugh harder.
“Never mind,” Liz says. “I can see this is going nowhere with you two.”
“No, seriously. This may be up my alley. I mean, I have no prospects. I’m horny as hell,” Sher blurts out. The guy behind her chokes on something and we all turn to look at him.
“Is he listening to us?” I mouth, watching him as he shuffles in his seat.
“That is exactly why you two have to watch your mouths,” Liz scolds.
“Anyway, I have enough saved for a trip of a lifetime. I mean, why not?” Sher asks and I agree with her.
Then I think of something. “What if you fall for the guy, I mean for real. Sher, you’ve never just been with a guy.”
