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CHAPTER 25
“Hey.” My throat is so tight the word barely come out. “What are you doing here?”
“Reese said you might be here,” he says.
“Oh.” A tear slips from my eye. Dean cups my face, wiping it with his thumb and forcing me to look at him.
“What happened in Key West?” he asks.
“Stupidity,” I respond. “I drank too much.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
Letting out a breath full of shame, I say, “I was afraid.”
“Of what?”
“Everything. Afraid of losing, winning. What if I won and you didn’t want me anymore? What if you won, and you left me behind?” There. I finally said it. My brain finally made sense of the chaos and pieced the truth together.
“Cat, I’ve always been clear on what I want.”
“Are you sure you want this? Because, Dean, I gotta tell you, this,” I point to myself, “is a mess. It’s who I am. Half the time I don’t know what I want, but it’s usually the opposite of what I’m told to want. Rebellion is in my bones. And I hate it when people try to take care of me. Makes me feel like they think I can’t do it myself. So if that’s what you’re looking for…”
“I know who you are, kitty cat.” He looks so sure when he says it, I believe him.
“You do?”
“You’re the woman who fights passionately for her family. That is why they want to take care of you, because you love them with such devotion. I want a part of that for myself.” He lifts my face to him. “Is it okay that I want a family?”
“Dean, I can’t give you a family. Even if I wanted to, I can’t have children.” Uterine ablation. Had it done a few years ago when I realized my excruciating periods could end. It was the best decision for me.
“All I care about is that YOU are in that family. Cat, all my life that’s all I’ve wanted. It’s why I couldn’t bare being separated from my siblings. Why I’ve done everything in my power to make Marissa and Charles proud parents. Family is important to me.”
“What if you change your mind?” I ask. “You’re young. It could happen. Children are always a part of a family.”
“That’s not necessarily true. But even so, what if you do?” he throws back at me. “We would work it out, together. All that matters is that you love me. Do you?”
“Do I what?” I whisper.
“Love me?”
My eyes look into the depths of his green ones. I realize this is a challenge he’s setting before me. To be the first to say I love you.
“Yes. Do you love me?”
“If I say yes, will you let me take care of you? Will you take care of me, too?” he asks.
I nod and his hands pull my face up to his. Our lips meet with desperate need, with hope and want. Feeling him again, tasting him, after I thought he’d be gone forever, makes me ache to hold him closer. I cling to him, afraid that if I don’t, he’ll become nothing more than a memory.
Our lips pull away, but his arms remain around me.
“Oh, I almost forgot,” I say, fumbling with my sling bag. “I got something for you the other day.” Handing him the Jeep I’d attached a little bow to, I say, “Happy Birthday, Coop.”
He laughs as he listens to the melody it plays. “I love it. And look, it has my name!”
I giggle with him, then the smile fades as I think of how awful he must have felt. “If I could take it back, I would. I’d make that day perfect for you. I’d take care of you, the way you wanted me to. I’m sorry my pride didn’t let me see you for what you are.”
“What am I, kitty cat?”
