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He breathed slowly in and out.
In and out.
She smelled like Eir.
How was that possible?
This mead was the elixir of gods, he decided, bringing the tankard to his lips and gulping down some more. He wiped the excess from his mouth with the back of his hand and gazed unsteadily at his conjured shield maiden.
There were two of her now, swirling together, then floating apart.
The more the merrier, Kai thought. But really, when it came to Eir, he only neededoneto be happy.
“Do you know me, Valkyrie?” he asked.
His eyes squeezed shut of their own accord when memories from the night before flooded his mind.
“Why does it hurt so much…” he rasped, the ache in his throat making it hard to swallow. Not even the mead could wash down the sudden lump.
“No one remembers…as if I never existed…no one misses…no one waits…”
He tried to shake his head, but the heavy weight simply lolled from side to side on his neck. He wondered if it would roll right off.
“Just using me…that’s all I am…just a shell with nothing inside…”
Hot tears spilled from the corners of his eyes, and he shuddered with bittersweet relief.
He had never cried before, not in any form. But then, he had never truly hurt before. This soul-deep ache that he didn’t understand.
It was a relief to release the pain. It was a comfort to speak it.
Even though this figment of his imagination was his only company. She gazed at him as if she felt it too.
“Will you use me too, my beautiful warrior?” he whispered, eyes still closed, tears trickling down the sides of his face.
“You hurt me most of all.”
Something soft glanced across his cheek, lifting away his tears.
He blindly grasped at it, loosely trapping it in his palm. He leaned into it and turned his face to nuzzle the softness.
Though, strangely, there were callouses too.
“You feel like Eir…” he murmured, drifting into slumber.
“My Eir…I wish…”
But the words trailed off as unconsciousness descended. Only in his mind did he complete the thought:
I wish you wanted to know me too.
