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It made her chest ache the way he hid himself from her, while he seemed to open more to everyone else, especially Ere.
After supper, he went off to do whatever it was he did. Sometimes, he’d disappear with Sorin and Ere. Sometimes he went alone.
When he returned, it was always hours after Eir retired. He’d doff his clothes in the pitch black of their shared barn and soak in a hot bath, curtesy of the village’s ingenious underground piping from nearby hot springs.
She always knew his footsteps, quiet though they were, before he came upon their lodgings. Perhaps it was her hyper senses as a Valkyrie. More likely, it was because she was attuned to him now, waiting with anticipation for every scent and sound.
In silence, she’d watch him from their makeshift bed in the loft, errant shafts of moonlight providing the only illumination.
Every night she wanted him. Every day as well, for that matter. But the days were filled with distracting activities. The night was private for just the two of them in a small shared space.
Darkness added to the intimacy, heightened her awareness of him. And of her own desires.
It made her bold.
Made her yearn.
But not bold enough to demand what she wanted, as she had done many nights ago now. It seemed like forever since she’d touched him. She was feverish with need.
He always came to bed naked and slightly damp from the bath, though his internal heat dried him quickly without the aid of cloths. He’d lie beside her on the furs and face away or toward the ceiling.
There were no words between them, though she opened her mouth countless times to speak. And her hands lifted countless times to touch him.
She knew, as surely as she knew her own name, that if she pursued her desires, he would never deny her. All she had to do was turn into him, touch him, mold her body to his.
He would give her what she wanted. Gift her untold ecstasy with his body.
She also knew, her chest feeling crushed like a troll was sitting atop it, that it would hurt him to do this. The way it hurt that night.
Eir had never cared for any man. She might have hurt others in the past; she hadn’t been aware of it.
But she was deeply aware of Kai.
Shecared.
So, here she was, on the sixth day, galloping across the tundra, willing the icy air in her lungs to invigorate her mind so that she could make sense of it all.
What was shedoinghere?
She could always leave and come back when it was time. It was far more efficient that way. Plenty of other warriors to mark and recruit elsewhere.
And if she stayed, why wasn’t she using her time more wisely? She could easily deepen her connection with Kai and convince him to choose Odin’s path.
But she didn’t.
She was in limbo. Not in any way fulfilling her duties as a Valkyrie.
She was lost.
Nightmare reared abruptly to a sudden stop, shaking Eir out of her reverie. Just as powerful hooves descended upon the hard, frozen ground a few feet away.
Mist’s steed folded its wings and tucked them in until they dematerialized. She brought her horse abreast of Eir’s.
“Greetings, sister,” Mist said. “How fare thee?”
Eir merely gave her a speaking glance.
“That bad, eh?” Mist surmised with a sympathetic smile.
