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I needed to speak to Alan and get this sorted once and for all. I dialled his number, tapping my fingers impatiently on the arm of the chair.
“Kwanchai, what can I do for you this early on a Sunday morning?”
I looked at the time. It was barely ten, hardly early.
“What’s going on, Alan? Am I being cut from the group because I didn’t go out last night? The pictures, the comments, the message from Kasem telling me to choose. Choose what? I need to know what’s happening here.”
“Hey, no one’s cutting anyone from anywhere. Where did you get that idea from?”
“Maybe you should check out the group page then. Kasem has more or less told the fans I’m leaving. I wasn’t tagged in anything, and his last comment did nothing to dispel the rumours about me not being in the group anymore.”
I could feel my temper rising the more I talked. I hadn’t realised how much this had pissed me off. I didn’t want to leave. That wasn’t what I wanted. I just wanted more time. More time to be with Beau, more time for my studies.
“Okay, so it might have been noticed that you’ve been distracted of late. You dash off after rehearsals. Your mind is elsewhere.” Alan wasn’t telling me something I didn’t already know.
“I’m studying, Alan, for a degree. I have class, homework that needs to be done, not to mention helping out in the restaurant. I have other commitments too.”
The line went quiet for a moment before he spoke again.
“I’ve heard you have a girlfriend as well, and you know how we feel about that.”
Shit. Now wasn’t the time to tell him it was a boyfriend and not a girlfriend.
“My commitment to the group shouldn’t even be in question here, Alan. I was here from the start and will be there until we’re no longer popular or decide to call it quits. My loyalty to the group hasn’t changed.”
I paused for a moment deciding whether I should say what was buzzing through my head.
“What needs to be addressed, though, is Kasem’s insinuation that I’m not in the band. Someone, and it’s not going to be me, needs to make a comment once and for all that I’m not leaving, that I’m around for the duration. Now whether you or someone from your team does so, I don’t care. Clarification is needed.”
Alan needed to know about Kasem and how much he disliked me, hated me. Whatever it was.
“For some reason, Kasem hates me, has always hated me, and this…this childish, stupid fucking business has to stop. His family might be the one putting up the money, allowing us to do what we’re doing, but that shouldn’t mean he has the final say on what happens. We’re a group, and every decision before was a joint one. Lately, it seems it’s you and him calling the shots, and that’s not fair to the rest of us in the band.”
I was glad I’d got that off my chest and hoped I hadn’t overstepped the mark.
“I know just what Kasem’s trying to do, Kwan. I know I’m new to Kings, but I’ve worked in this business for years, dealt with people like him many times. I have all of your interests at heart and believe you when you say that you’re not leaving. I will admit Kasem does seem to dislike you more than the others, but as long as this doesn’t come across in the shows, I’m going to ignore it. I’d like you to do the same if you can.
“I will, however, continue to monitor, and if it seems to be getting out of hand, I’ll deal with it. Just carry on what you’re doing, but if you could just be a little more… I think present is the better word, that would be good. Maybe stick around a little after rehearsals. Look, I need to go anyway, but I know what’s going on. We’re going to be even busier. I’ve loads lined up for you and the boys over the next few months, things to help you all. You are going places, and I want you on board.”
After saying goodbye, I sat looking at my phone, not convinced of his words. How could he ignore how Kasem was with me? And even busier? Shit. That meant less time for Beau, and I wasn’t sure that was the right move right now. He was fragile, as much as he tried to hide it. I knew this thing with his sister was something more for him to worry about after how he’d talked about the death of his parents. I knew he felt responsible for it all.
Then the way he spoke about the water and how he loved it, how it intrigued him. I wondered just how far his obsession with it would take him.
By now, it was getting on for lunchtime. I’d had plans for today for the two of us, but it looked like they wouldn’t be happening. I didn’t want to just leave without doing something, but there was little for me to do here but wait for him to be done.
I grabbed a weak coffee from the machine and rested my head on the wall behind. What were we doing? I knew I wanted to be with him, and I was sure he felt the same way. He was usually the one to message me first, the first one to message good night. He was mostly up late when he worked and knew I was often in bed before him.
I just wished we could spend more quality time together. The calls were great, could be very intimate at times and the things we talked about for hours on end… I don’t think I’d told anyone some of the things we shared. He knew more about me than my parents did. The connection we shared was more than just kisses and sex. It was a deeper, more meaningful one. A connection that made me feel warm and wanted, and I didn’t want to lose that.
A half hour later, Beau emerged looking grim and tired. He marched straight up to me, trying desperately to hold back the tears. I hated seeing him so upset and stood, folding my arms around his body as he cried.
We needed to get out of here, and I had a plan of where we could go.
