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Dirty and debauched and perfect. That was them in a nutshell.
But as the afterglow started to dim slightly and Sebastian pulled out of her, she couldn’t help but glance down at her bare left hand.
It had been more than two years since that night in his cabin when everything had changed—when she’d gotten lost in that snowstorm and twisted her ankle, and he’d carried her through the snow back to his cabin, despite his bad knee—and while they’d had their ups and downs, their arguments and reconciliations, she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. And it wasn’t as though they were kids, too young to really think about the future. She was thirty-two and Sebastian was thirty-six. The future was now, wasn’t it?
Unless he wasn’t on the same page as her. Which was ridiculous. This was Bastian. He adored her. They talked about getting married and having kids as though it were an eventuality, not a what if. Not a maybe. It was a definite.
So then…where was her ring? What was he waiting for?
“Hey, you okay?” he asked, handing her a towel. She blinked and nodded, taking the towel from him and cleaning herself up. She’d have a shower before they headed for the airport tomorrow morning.
“Yeah, sorry. Just thinking.”
“About?” he asked, tossing his own towel into the hamper in the corner of their bedroom. She added her towel to the pile and then rose from the bed, emotions swirling through her. If she wanted to talk to him about what was weighing on her, now was the perfect time. He’d given her a Grand Canyon sized opening.
“Just the trip and the wedding and stuff.”
Chicken.
She padded across their bedroom, the plush carpet thick and lush under her bare toes, and pulled open her dresser drawer, retrieving her favorite pair of sweatpants and one of Sebastian’s old T-shirts. She tugged it on over her head, wincing slightly when it brushed against her nipples. They were overly sensitive, probably from the two orgasms she’d just had.
“You miss the city, don’t you?” he asked, stepping into a pair of gray sweatpants that made her drool just a little. They hung low on his hips, showcasing the mouthwatering V that dipped beneath the fabric. His body had always been incredible, but he was even fitter and stronger than when they’d first gotten together, thanks to his sobriety, physical job, and overall good health.
She shook her head, moving across their room to the sliding glass doors that looked out onto a small deck. Two Adirondack chairs sat side by side, and she and Sebastian often had coffee there in the mornings, staring out at the towering pines and the mountains poking up into the sky.
“No,” she said truthfully, shaking her head. “I miss aspects of it, but Lake Tahoe is home. It’s beautiful here. Peaceful in a way I didn’t know I needed. I think moving here has been good for both of us, and I wouldn’t go back, I don’t think.”
They’d moved to Lake Tahoe a year and a half ago so Sebastian could pursue his career as an elite level snowboarding coach. The timing had worked out because she’d left her job at Silver Stream Development—okay, fine, she’d kind of been fired, but it didn’t matter now—and she’d moved across the country to be with Sebastian. And she’d found much more fulfilling work as the director of a non-profit for women in sport. The organization helped athletes at various levels find sponsorships, coaching, housing if they had to move for training opportunities, and more. She felt as though she were contributing and making a positive difference as opposed to toiling away to pad someone else’s bottom line.
No, her life was pretty much perfect—minus her missing engagement ring that she was becoming more and more anxious about as the months ticked by with no signs that Sebastian was ready or planning to propose.
He slid his arms around her from behind and she melted into him, her head flopping back against his shoulder. “I’m glad you’re happy, Kayla. That’s all I want for you. For us. I got in my own way for so damn long, and now…”
She turned in his arms, cupping his cheek. Guilt sliced through her. Here she was whining internally about a ring when he’d fought against so many demons just to get where he was today. “Now, you’re free, baby. You’re amazing. You beat the odds.”
He dipped his head, pressing his forehead to hers. “Because of you. If you hadn’t taken a chance on me…” He shook his head and swallowed thickly, his Adam’s apple bobbing visibly.
“I know a risk worth taking when I see it,” she said softly. He grinned and kissed her, slow and sweet, but before the kiss could lead to anything else—like another round in bed—the alarm on Sebastian’s phone went off. “It’s time,” he said, pulling away from her. “I’ll get the sodas, you get the chips.”
“Did you pick up dip at the store?” she asked, following him out of their bedroom. The stairs led down to the open-concept main floor of their house, with the living room on one side, and the eat-in kitchen on the other. The ceiling was vaulted, and the windows stretched all the way up, letting in natural light and giving them a breathtaking view of the pines and mountains just outside their front door. Sometimes, Kayla still felt the urge to pinch herself—living surrounded by so much gorgeous nature, in a beautiful home, with a sexy-as-hell man all felt too good to be true.
She was silly to worry about something as inconsequential as a ring. She and Sebastian were solid, and no matter what happened, she knew they were in this together.
“Yeah, it’s in here,” he said as he opened the refrigerator door and pulled out two Cokes. “I’ll grab it.” He set the tub of dip on the granite-topped island, and she rummaged in the pantry for the bag of chips. Once they had their traditional viewing snacks ready, they headed for the living room. A plush dark brown sofa sat facing the flatscreen TV mounted above the fireplace. To the left, sliding glass doors led out onto another deck, this one larger than the one off of their bedroom. A hot tub sat in one corner, while outdoor furniture and a barbecue took up the rest of the space.
She plopped down onto the sofa beside him, careful not to spill chips out of the bowl in her hands, excitement bubbling through her as Sebastian turned to Bravo just in time for the season premiere of Below Deck.
Kayla had always been a reality TV junkie, but Sebastian had thought it was beneath him. But he’d changed his mind when she’d made him watch an episode of Below Deck with her, and he’d gotten hooked. Now, it was their tradition to wear sweats and eat snacks while watching the new episodes.
It was comforting and familiar. Routine. Little things like this made her feel at home with him. At ease.
Pushing thoughts of wayward engagement rings out of her mind, she sat back to enjoy the episode, even ignoring the notifications on her phone until the next commercial.
“That guy’s going to be a trainwreck,” said Sebastian, taking a sip of his Coke. “Take it from a guy who used to be one.”
She laughed. “That was a long time ago now.”
Something flickered across his expression, and he took another sip of his drink. “It feels like it, doesn’t it? But people have had longer streaks than me and then relapsed.”
