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She could see the wariness, the concern in his deep brown eyes and more guilt ate at her, making her feel itchy and restless. And yet...she couldn’t bring herself to say anything about her late period or the fact that they weren’t engaged yet. Now just wasn’t the time, here with their friends and his family, the day before Lucian and Olivia’s wedding. Once the festivities were over, there’d be time to talk.
“I know.” She met his eyes and then rose up onto her toes and kissed him. He moaned softly and kissed her back. God, it would be so easy to just drag him to the bed and let him shut her brain off the way he always did, but everyone was waiting for them. So, she broke the kiss and took his hand, leading him to the door before things got carried away.
They found everyone out on the sunny balcony off of the upper level of the penthouse. Kayla sucked in a sharp breath at the view stretching out before her, Manhattan stretching out on three sides, encompassing everything she could see. She could hear the distant blare of sirens, the honking of taxis, the jackhammer of construction work. The city symphony she’d come to miss, despite how happy she was in Lake Tahoe.
The balcony itself was beautiful, tiled in chiseled stone and surrounded with sparkling, spotless glass. The sky was pure blue, and the air was sweet and almost cool on her skin. Everyone was gathered on a plush looking outdoor sectional, a tray with drinks on a table in front of it, and a fancy-looking bar cart off to the side.
Max handed Sebastian a ginger ale and then cocked an eyebrow at Kayla. “What’ll it be? Wine? Or I’ve got some nice champagne on ice?”
“You know, I think I’ll just start with some Perrier, if you have it. The traveling unsettled my stomach a little.”
Max nodded and handed her the cool green bottle, cracking the cap off for her. He grabbed a striped paper straw from the bar cart and popped it in her drink, and she was grateful that no one was giving her a hard time about not drinking. Granted, she often didn’t drink around Sebastian out of solidarity, so they probably didn’t think it was odd. She sat down on the couch beside Willa, and Sebastian settled in beside Theo.
“You want to tell them?” asked Max, drink in hand as he sat down on the far end of the sofa.
Willa grinned and set her drink down. “We’ve decided to start IVF!”
Kayla and Lauren both gasped and reached for her, pulling her in for an awkward group hug. A cervical cancer survivor, Willa had frozen her eggs before undergoing treatment. If she and Max wanted to have a baby, pursuing IVF was likely their best shot at a successful pregnancy.
“Oh, Willa, I’m so happy and hopeful for you,” said Kayla.
“I really hope this works for you guys,” added Lauren, giving her a squeeze. “I know it’s not a guarantee, right?”
Willa shook her head, but her smile wasn’t any less bright. “No, there are no guarantees, but we’re going to try. And if it’s not successful, we’re open to adoption.” Her eyes met Max’s and he nodded, smiling softly at his wife. It was amazing how far Max had come, slowly changing from grumpy and reserved to open and genuinely happy, and Kayla knew it was because of the way Willa loved him. She knew because she liked to think she’d had a similar effect on Sebastian, who was a different man—in a good way—from the one she’d wanted to throttle just a couple of years ago.
“So when do you start the process?” asked Kayla.
“In the fall. We both have to go through some testing first, and then they’ll need to thaw my eggs. They could all die during the thawing process, or they could thaw but not fertilize at all, or fertilize but not implant, so there are a lot of steps where things can go wrong. But I’m still excited to try.”
“You’re going to be a wonderful mom,” said Lauren. “No matter how it comes to be.” Her eyes were misty and she cleared her throat, then took a sip of her wine.
Willa gently laid a hand on Lauren’s arm. “Are you guys still trying?”
She nodded. “Yeah. No luck this month, though,” she said, lifting her glass and taking another sip.
“I know it feels like an eternity, but these things just take time sometimes,” said Sebastian kindly. A fresh wave of guilt made Kayla’s throat hurt as she swallowed some of her water. Here she was obsessing over the possibility of being pregnant when they weren’t even trying, and Lauren and Theo had been trying for a couple of months now without any luck. It didn’t seem fair.
“Are Lucian and Olivia coming by at all today?” asked Theo, changing the subject. Kayla didn’t miss the grateful squeeze Lauren gave his thigh.
Max shook his head. “No, I think they’re too busy with the rehearsal dinner plans for tonight.”
“The nanny has Cora?” Kayla asked. Lucian and Olivia were parents to the cutest little ten-month-old, and Kayla was looking forward to getting some baby cuddles in.
The thought made her stomach twist and pull as what ifs and maybes swirled through her mind. God, this not knowing was torture, and it didn’t look like she was going to have the chance to escape to the drugstore anytime soon.
“It’s too bad Javi can’t make it,” said Sebastian.
Max nodded. “Yeah, but it’s the middle of the baseball season, and he’s the manager of the team. He can’t just bail on the Longhorns. Aerin’s coming though, although she’s only able to fly in for the wedding tomorrow morning, and I think she’s taking the red eye back after the reception.”
“I assume she’s not bringing the girls with her, then?” asked Lauren, looking slightly disappointed.
Max shook his head. “No. The twins are staying home.”
“Have you seen Lucian or Olivia lately?” asked Theo. “I feel like every time I’ve tried to talk to him, he’s had some wedding thing to deal with. A tasting, a suit fitting, something.”
“It’s amazing the way your wedding can just consume you,” said Lauren, shaking her head with a small smile. “When we were planning ours, it was all I could think about.”
“Same,” added Willa.
