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CHAPTERTHREE
Sebastian hadthe feeling he’d made a horrible mistake.
For the past two days, Kayla had been in a weird mood. She’d been quiet, reserved, and distant. She hadn’t been her usual talkative, outgoing self, especially not with him. It was as though something had shifted between them, something almost intangible but important. And he had a sinking feeling he knew what it was.
The wedding. Being surrounded by other married people. Theo and Lauren had been married for a year now and were trying to have a baby. Max and Willa had been married for a year and a half. Aerin and Javi had been married for nearly three years now and had twin two-year-old daughters. Lucian and Olivia were getting married and already had ten-month-old Cora. And if he knew Kayla at all—and he’d like to think he did after all this time, not to mention all the time they’d worked together before getting together—she was probably wondering where the hell her engagement ring was.
Well. It was in his suitcase. And it had been living in the very back of his sock and underwear drawer for months now.
He glanced over his shoulder at the bedroom door, which was slightly ajar. Kayla was currently getting done up with Willa and Lauren, and he didn’t think she’d be back anytime soon. He opened his suitcase and rummaged around, pulling out the navy blue Harry Winston jewel box he’d bought last November.
God, he was such a fucking chicken shit. He’d originally planned to propose to her at Thanksgiving. And then Christmas. And then New Year’s. And then Valentines. And then their anniversary in April.
But he hadn’t.
It wasn’t that he didn’t want to. It wasn’t that he didn’t want a future with her. He did, more than anything. It wasn’t that he didn’t think Kayla was perfect in every single way. It was him. He needed to make sure—to be fully, completely sure—that he was the man she deserved. That he wasn’t going to backslide into vices and destruction and drag her down with him. It wasn’t her he wasn’t sure of.
It was himself.
He didn’t drink anymore, and he hadn’t gambled in over two years, although he’d had occasional urges that scared the living shit out of him. He was still in therapy, and working every single day to mold himself into a man worthy of marrying Kayla. Healthy and whole and capable of taking care of her the way she deserved.
Every single time he thought he was ready, something would spike inside him. Fear, uncertainty, self-doubt. A little voice telling him that he needed to keep working on himself. That he wasn’t quite good enough yet.
But now, that voice was silent. It had been for weeks.
He sat down on the bed and popped the box open, staring down at the pear-shaped diamond. It was surrounded with a cluster of smaller diamonds that made it look like a snowflake, and he’d known it was the right one the second he’d laid eyes on it. The snowflake reminded him of falling for her in that cabin, snowed in together. His life had changed in the span of just a few days with her in that little cabin. A diamond snowflake—it was perfect.
And now, he was ready. Finally. He knew he’d already waited too long, and he had the feeling that was why Kayla had been quiet and distant for the past couple of days. Attending yet another wedding was making her wonder where they were headed and what was taking him so long.
He should’ve asked her a year ago. He knew that. But he couldn’t change the past—something he’d learned to accept in therapy—and all he could do was move forward. And he was planning to move forward this weekend. All he had to do was find the perfect quiet moment to ask her. He didn’t want to steal Lucian and Olivia’s thunder, but that ring was going to be on Kayla’s finger on the flight home. It was time. He was ready.
He heard footsteps coming down the hall, so he quickly shut the box and stuffed it into his pocket. Kayla pushed through the door and it felt as though all of the air had been sucked out of his lungs.
“Shit, baby,” he murmured, shoving a hand through his hair and rising from the bed. Kayla’s thick blond hair was sleek and straight and pulled back into a high ponytail, and her makeup was pretty and fresh, highlighting her enormous green eyes and full lips. And her dress…fuck. It was a simple black cocktail dress, but the way it clung to her curves had his mouth watering and his blood heating. “You look amazing.”
She grinned at him, a real, genuine smile and smoothed her hands up over his shirt, straightening his collar. “You clean up pretty nice, too, Bastian.” He’d opted for light gray dress pants with a white dress shirt open at the collar, no tie. She slid her hands lower, grabbing two fistfuls of his ass. “You know I love your ass in these pants.”
He dipped his head, inhaling her scent. She smelled like floral perfume and Kayla, and he kissed the spot just below her ear. “You know I love your ass always.”
She let out a shivery little moan but then stepped away from him. “We need to get going. You’re the best man; you can’t be late for the rehearsal.”
He nodded, watching as she gathered up her purse and checked her phone and then headed out the door without looking back at him. Pulling away. Again. He slipped his hand into his pocket and closed his fingers around the small box.
Tonight. He needed to ask her tonight.
* * *
The rehearsal dinner was taking place at one of Lucian’s many restaurants, which was closed to the public for the night’s event. The rehearsal itself had gone off without a hitch, and Sebastian had been completely wowed by the ceremony location. He hadn’t even known there was a hidden rooftop terrace that overlooked St. Patrick’s Cathedral, but there was, and it was where Lucian and Olivia would be saying their vows in front of their friends and family tomorrow afternoon. Once they’d gone through the ceremony and everyone knew what they were supposed to do, immediate family and close friends had all come to the restaurant, which was dripping in pink peonies and some elaborate purple flowers Sebastian couldn’t name. Servers circulated through the crowd with trays of champagne, and the tables were laden with family-style dishes. A green salad, chicken, beef tenderloin, salmon, sweet potatoes, sauteed vegetables, and rice, all to be passed around and shared.
As he took it all in, he wondered what kind of wedding Kayla would want. They’d talked about the fact that marriage was in their future, but they hadn’t spent any time talking about the nuts and bolts of an actual wedding.
“I think that went well,” said Lucian from behind Sebastian, and he turned. He was wearing a navy blue suit and matching shirt. He’d ditched his tie, and his shirt was open at the collar.
Sebastian nodded, a tightness working its way up his chest and into his throat. “It did. I can’t believe that ceremony venue. It’s going to be amazing tomorrow.”
Lucian gazed across the restaurant, a peaceful, contented smile on his lips. “It’s nice having everyone together like this.”
Sebastian threw an arm around his brother who was so much more than a brother to him. He was a father, a protector, a savior, all in one. “Is that your way of saying you miss having us around?”
