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Chapter Twenty-One
XAN
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Blood pounds in myears as anger climbs like flames through my body, but the feeling disappears with one look from Millie. Her heartbreak destroys me as her lip trembles.
Briggs steps toward our daughter who flinches back, turns, and sprints into the tree line. Briggs takes off after her and I round on my sister.
“Xan, I—” Pris starts and her pale lips stay open but no sound forms.
“I hope you’re proud of yourself Priscilla.”
I stalk away from sister, taking a quick glance around the party to be sure we didn’t cause a scene. I’m sure everyone here over the age of ten is waiting for the typical Ryker drama. The only one who’s paying any attention is Jet. His heavy eyes absorbing in the scene, understanding it on a micro level. I nod to him and follow Millie’s path into the trees. If I remember there’s a trail back here that leads to a small rock cliff that Briggs liked to read at. I’m guessing that’s where they are.
When I make it to the clearing, Millie is perched on a rock, sobbing into Briggs shirt. I want to rush to her. To pull her into my arms. To wrap them both up.
Briggs glares at me, her eyes demanding that I fix this.
“Millie,” I say softly and crouch down to catch her gaze. “Sweetheart, I’m so sorry you heard that.”
Millie wipes her nose on her sleeve and sits up straighter. “Do you want to be rid of me?”
I’ve never felt a pain like the one that pierces me like this, her words, her pleading eyes, her perfect beautiful soul shattering because of me.
“Never. I never want to be rid of you. Not one single second for the rest of my life. Never.” I take her hand and squeeze it in both mine, resisting the urge to yank her from her mother’s iron grip.
“Do you mean it?” She asks small and weak.
“Look at me Millie,” I say my heart pounding and my world tilting with the weight of devotion to her. She meets my gaze and we simply stare at each other. I put everything I have into her and she is an observer. She picks up on everything. She feels what people don’t say. I hope she feels what I’m not saying.
She launches out of Briggs arms and into mine, setting me off balance and I fall on my ass in the dirt. I hug her tight and whisper to her.
“I’m not going anywhere kiddo. You’re stuck with me now.”
She laughs and leans back. “But what about mom?”
Suddenly the clarity of situation became muddier. This topic is much harder to move through.
Briggs’ fear is evident and I clear my throat. “What about your mother?”
I am not going to answer a question I don’t understand, in case she’s thinking about this in a much simpler sense.
“Do you want to be rid of mom? I know you guys were in love once. That’s how you made me. How come you’re not in love anymore?”
Shit. I watch Briggs for her reaction, which resembles a deer in the middle of the highway stuck in a high beam. I have no clue what Millie knows about love and sex and babies. At ten, I knew all about it as my life has been nothing but babies around me, with parents that lacked the desire to hide from their children. I’d walked in on my parents many times by this age, but I’d bet my life that’s not the case for Millie.
My chest tightens at the thought of Briggs being with another man, my stomach lurches at the idea she would do that around Millie.
She wouldn’t.
“Uh,” is all I manage under the scrutiny of my daughter.
“Xan and I love you. Nothing will ever change that.” Briggs swoops in for the rescue, finally composing herself.
Millie stands up and dusts herself off, her tears gone and replaced with her easy going acceptance.
“Do you think you’ll ever be in love again?” She asks skipping into the trees without understanding even a fraction of the weight that question carried. Again, I defer to Briggs because I have no clue what to say.
We watch each other before she sighs. “I don’t think so, Sweetheart.”
It feels like I’ve been kneed in the gut.
It shouldn’t hurt this much to hear her say it.
But it does.
