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“We’re safe now sweetheart. I’m so sorry I tried to drag you out of Raston. I was scared and not thinking. It was a huge mistake and I hope you don’t hate me anymore.”
Millie shuffles back her ears reddening and her eyes cast down. “I never hated you mom. I’m sorry I said that. I could never hate you.”
“You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” I squeeze her shoulders and she perks up like everything just registered. “I’m so sorry about this past year. I’m going to make it up to you. I promise.”
This is a promise I don’t mind making.
“Does that mean?” She asks and I nod knowing what she’s asking.
“We’re going to stay.”
Millie screeches her approval and springs over to the sink to let Tabby wipe the slime from her face.
“That means we need to throw a party,” Del interjects leaning on the doorframe wiping her hands on a pink goo stained towel. She still had tiny specks of pink stuck to her cheeks and forehead.
“Why are we throwing a party?” Jet asks, the kitchen getting more and more crowded.
“Mom said we’re staying, Uncle Jet.” Millie pounces on him and he lifts her easily and gives her a bear hug, shaking back and forth until she is screeching to be put down.
“That’s awesome kid, but you know what that means?” He scratches his thick beard.
“What?”
“I’m gunna have to start being hard on you at practice now that you’re a permanent Wildcat.”
Millie face drains of color. “You mean you weren’t being hard on me?”
We all laugh as Jet ruffles her hair.
“Want to finish the movie with us?” Tabby asks and for the first time in ever I feel like I’ve truly come home. This chaotic, messy, imperfect dynamic is everything I’ve ever been missing from my life. Cramming five people on a couch meant for three. The buzz of the TV and hum of two separate conversations and fighting over the last handful of popcorn, which Zeke swooped in and stole because he’s an ass.
It all feels so natural. The only thing missing is the most important part of the Ryker experience for me. I hug Millie close as she watches the movie and I burry the one last fear that won’t let go.
“Are you okay, Mom?” Millie glances up at me. My girl who never misses a thing. I smile and kiss her on the forehead.
“I’m okay. Just a little worried about your dad is all.”
“He’ll be okay.” Her youthful optimism helps ease my nerves and I rest my cheek on her head.
“You’re probably right.”
I need him to be okay. I need him to come home.
Nothing in my life is fully whole without him.
I’ve spent over a decade fighting against something that is as easy as breathing. Dad and Pris are right. I wasn’t afraid that me and Xan wouldn’t work, I was afraid that we would.
The only thing I’ve ever wanted is right in front of me, being offered to me with open arms.
A family.
My family.
And I’m ready for it.
