AllFreeNovel
Share Us
CHAPTER4
ZEKE
As I drive Jess home,my stomach rolls, and the dotted yellow lines whiz by under the truck. The trees blur past along the winding highway, just like my thoughts. Jess steals suspicious glances at me every twelve seconds. I’m counting.
She’s a smart girl. She asked what’s going on, but I didn’t tell her.
I’m going to.
I should.
I tried.
The vinyl steering wheel creaks as I grip it and open my mouth to speak. The words get stuck. I’ve been able to think them but not speak them. Each time I try, they hook claws into the back of my tongue, and I choke on them.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Jess asks. The sound of tires on the highway increases as my senses are heightened.
“Why did you agree to go out with me?” I’m not sure if I asked the question out loud until Jess’s features settle into shocked confusion. Insecurity bubbles inside me like my sister’s jams—sticky and thick.
“Where did that come from?” Jess plays with the cuff of her simple gray shirt, and the vast disparity between us is glaringly apparent.
She should never have agreed to date me. Her dad hates me, the town has written me off along with my entire family, and her good-girl vibe doesn’t fit. Even if I was her rebellion, it still doesn’t make sense.
“Nowhere. I’m curious.” I avoid looking at her, focusing on the pavement being sucked under my truck.
“Honestly?” she says in a hushed whisper. “You’re Zeke Stryker.”
“What does that mean?”
“You’ve never dated anyone from Raston. You’ve never asked anyone to be your girlfriend. I was flattered to be that girl. I had to say yes.”
“No, you didn’t.” I don’t mean to be short, but the squirming in my gut is begging me to get out of this conversation. I’m kicking my own ass for bringing it up. I’m so stuck in my head right now, and I fucking hate it here.
“I mean, I was curious. I wasn’t sure what you wanted from me.” I have to lean slightly to hear the words, barely a breath across her lips.
“You thought I was playing you?” It’s kind of a question. Kind of a statement.
Of course, that’s what it was. She thought I was treating her like a challenge. The girl who is saving herself and the guy who does nothing but fuck.
It makes sense, I guess. I dropped out of school shortly after my sixteenth birthday. That place was no good for me. My brain doesn’t work that way, and I was fucking tired of fighting it. That meant that all the other kids my age were free to make shit up about me.
“I wasn’t sure. You were so sweet. And kind of ridiculous,” Jess smiles into her lap with a short laugh. The summer festival where I asked her out was a bit much. I thought all that grand gesture shit was what women want.
“I specialize in ridiculous,” I say.
“I’m learning that.” Jess teases. I take her hand and gently kiss her knuckles.
I’m not sure where all this fucking stellar boyfriend shit is coming from, but I’m laying it on thick.
Other than the fact that I won’t tell my girlfriend that I found out I got a different woman pregnant. That’s not being a stellar boyfriend.
But I don’t think it’s fair to bring Jess into this right now. Not before I grasp the reality that floats around in my head, playing hide and seek with my nerves.
“Something is up, Zeke,” Jess says. “And you don’t want to tell me.”
I bite my lip and let out a big breath through my nose. I need to talk to my brother. Then speak to Nova and figure out what the actual fuck is happening, and then I’ll tell Jess.
“I promise I’ll tell you what’s going on once I figure it out.” I lace my fingers through hers, but it feels different now. She feels different. Or is it me?
