AllFreeNovel
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Jess is the kind of girl you feel obligated to protect, like the sunlight would melt her or a slight bump would shatter her. The entire time we’ve dated, I’ve been so careful of everything I say and do around her.
I have no idea how she will react to this or what she’ll say. My insides are eating themselves under the stress.
She steps outside and walks calmly to the truck, slipping in and leaning across the bench seat to kiss me. Her lips feel wrong on mine now. I didn’t cheat on her. I didn’t betray her in any way. But for some reason, I feel like a massive piece of shit right now.
“Are you okay?” she asks, searching me with hesitant eyes.
“No, I’m not.” I sigh, scrubbing my face and raking my fingers through my hair. She sits with her hands folded in her lap and a furrow in her brow as I fall apart.
“Zeke, what is it?”
“You know that girl who showed up at the farm?” I stare down the long street, lined with more houses exactly like this one.
“Yes.” Her voice is trembling.
I wipe my hand across my mouth like I can tug the words out. God, I’m such a fucking stereotype.
I finally turn to her, and it gives me the courage to say it. Jess deserves the truth. “Well, she and I hooked up a few months ago. She’s pregnant. She has nowhere to go, so she’s staying at Jet’s place for a bit.”
Jess’s gaze immediately drops to her lap, her shoulders slumping in disappointment—a familiar posture.
“Oh,” she says.
“I’m so sorry, Jess.” I reach for her hand through all the thick, stuffy tension filling the truck, but her fingers are stiff in mine. “This doesn’t change anything with us, though.”
“Of course it does,” she says softly, and my heart hammers so loudly I can barely hear her. “It changes everything.”
A growl builds in my chest, and I unleash the tension by slamming my free palm on the steering wheel. Jess startles, pulling her hand from mine, but I already feel so distant from her. Disconnected.
“Fuck,” I say, letting my head fall against the headrest. “I’m not sure what to do right now. I’m such an asshole.”
“You know what to do because you’re already doing it.” I snap my gaze over to her, and she scoots closer. “A lot of people told me not to date you, you know? They told me you’d be trouble.”
The words are a knife to my gut, twisting and reminding me of my place here. That’s how everyone in this town sees me.
“And I am nothing but trouble for you.” I crush my eyes shut to control my frustration.
“I’m eighteen,” Jess says. “I’ve never had a real boyfriend.”
I drop my chin to my chest.
“Do you see yourself marrying me?” she asks. “Committing to me forever?”
I shake my head, and shame floods me. She guides my face up to meet her gaze.
“Don’t feel bad, because neither did I.” Her mouth pulls into a guilty smile. “I honestly didn’t think it would last this long. I said yes because I wanted to experience what it felt like to have a real boyfriend before I go to college.”
Her cheeks flare red, and strands of hair fall in her face. “You were so experienced with girls. I thought…” she trails out.
Her confession has me stunned. “Jess,” I start, but she shakes her head to stop me.
“I thought you’d get bored with me and break up with me right away. I’d get some experience, and you’d move on. You are super attractive and such a funny guy, but I never expected you to be so sweet. I care about you, Zeke. But we both know this isn’t our forever.”
I’ve shifted my body to face her, taking her honesty head-on. It shakes me to realize that she used me. There’s no anger. Instead, I feel almost hollow as her words echo inside my head.
I was nothing more than a distraction—an experience.
“I’ve loved getting to see that side of you.” Her eyes shine with held-in tears, and I hate every second of it. “You’re a good guy, Zeke. I appreciate that you want to keep things how they were between us, but I can’t. This girl needs you.”
