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CHAPTER10
ZEKE
Nova takesmy hand and tugs me through the door that leads upstairs.
It’s a dimly lit laundry room with a damp smell and a low ceiling. Laundry sits in piles on the folding tables, all of it my sisters’, and that’s all I can manage right now. I feel like I’ve been opened up and stuffed full. Of what? I don’t fucking know. My limbs are bursting with energy, and I’m suffocating on my fears.
“I totally understand what your brother meant on the phone.” She squeezes my hand, and her eyes shine with amusement in the dim light. “Your sisters are nuts.”
A short laugh forces through all this intensity like an air bubble pushing through ice. Being this close to her is centring. The smell of her shampoo, the warmth of her hand, and the sound of her breathing weave through my senses, slowing everything down. My mind is consumed with how badly I want to lean down and kiss her.
My girlfriend broke up with me basically ten seconds ago. I’m a horrible person, and I’m staring at Nova’s lips, desperate to taste them again.
“They are going to be obsessed with you.” I say it like it’s a horrible thing, but I’m trying to keep my mind on track.
“They’re right, though,” She tilts her chin to stare at the floor. “They could have been mean about it. Girls do that. You’re their brother, and I’m some random that blew through town and then showed up out of nowhere again.”
She still hasn’t let go of my hand, so I shift my palm to lace our fingers together. Slowly she meets my gaze again, the shimmering blue picking up on my increasing breathing and expanding chest. The corner of her mouth turns up in a small smile.
“I don’t need you to wait on me, okay? You didn’t do anything wrong. We both fucked up here. I’ll try to bring them around. Convince them I’m okay.”
I’m already shaking my head three words in. She doesn’t know my family. She’s not familiar with our depth of devotion to each other. It’s a survival instinct; I can see it already. The way Pris attacked me, the way Del became giddy, and the way Tabitha turned starry-eyed.
They all reacted differently, but it comes from the same place. This is another Stryker to be protected. I saw it with Millie. It’s going to happen with Nova and this baby.
We didn’t get to be there when Millie was born, which destroyed not only Xan but also my sisters.
“You have no idea what you’re getting into by staying here.” I brush hair from her cheek absently. “I’m so torn because I want this. I want you to be here. I want to be involved, but I also feel like I need to warn you about how intense my family can be. My dad is a violent drunk. My mom is delusional at best, toxic at worst—”
“Zeke.” She presses a hand over my mouth, her soft skin silencing me. It’s more than a simple gesture. “It’s okay.”
“I’m not leaving you alone with them,” I mumble behind her palm.
“I’m fine,” she insists. “Go get some of your things. Make them happy and stay here for a few nights. We’ll let things settle and then make a plan. I haven’t even told my family yet, so you’re already way braver than I am.”
I take her hand from my mouth, curl her fingers around mine, and place a kiss on her knuckles. She sighs—barely audible, but it’s there. She’s still attracted to me, too. A slight suspicion wiggles through my gut. This could be good, or a horrible mistake. “Good luck in there.”
“I won’t need it. This is nothing compared to what I’ve handled in my life.” There’s a cocky smirk on her lips as she pats my cheek. “I’m a private school girl.”
There are so many layers beneath her words. Suddenly, I realize that we don’t know each other at all. There is so much about her and her life that I have no clue about.
As I jog up the stairs, I try my best to stifle the thought. This girl completely overtook me when I met her, and just like right now, I felt a need to get to know her. To learn everything about her. Then she disappeared.
Because you’re only good for one thing, I think. When they get it, they bail.
Nova did. Jess did.
I need to be careful. I need to keep control.
I make my way to the attic loft where, as the lone boy left in the house, I’ve managed to escape the cloud of chemical hair products that is the second floor. On my way by Mom’s room, I notice her sitting at her vanity, and suddenly my feet don’t work anymore. I lurch to a stop and watch her brushing her hair, completely oblivious to the movement by the door. Still running on pure adrenaline from telling my sisters, I battle myself over what to do. Tell her now and get it done or go upstairs and put the whole mess off for as long as possible.
“If you have something to say, Ezekiel, out with it.” Mom never looks away from the mirror, and I startle at her voice. Her lack of emotion or connection to this universe has always been frightening.
I poke my head in the room.
“Hey, Ma,” I say, and she turns to face me. Her entire demeanour shifts instantly, and the creases around her eyes and mouth crinkle up with her smile.
“How are you, darling?” She says, and my guts twist up. It’s been so long since she called me that.
