AllFreeNovel
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Jet leans over and ruffles my hair, shaking my brain inside my skull while he does it. I duck out from under his grip. “Are you embarrassed by us?”
“Yes,” I say with zero hesitation.
Del brings me another beer because she’s the magical beer fairy who knows when I only have about three sips left.
“Are they giving you a hard time?” she asks, and I nod. “Good.”
“Why are you all against me?” The tone is joking, but the sentiment is one hundred percent true.
“We’re messing with you, man. We’re here for whatever you need.” Xan is the serious one. The sentimental one. The one who isn’t afraid to bawl his eyes out in front of us. “Does she need anything? Do you need anything?”
The way his tone dips, he means money. Can I support her?
“She doesn’t need anything. That’s what’s really fucking with my head here. She’s loaded, I’m sure of it. I mean, have you seen her van? It’s nicer than the house. And she buzzes around all day long with all this energy. Cooking and cleaning and making me dizzy. Sometimes she pukes a lot, and it’s gross, but I bring her water. All I’m good for is bringing her water. I don’t know what else to do.”
Jet shrugs. “I say that’s a pretty fucking good problem to have.”
I cast my eyes down to the table, picking at the label on my beer.
“What else?” Xan asks, and I curse under my breath. He never misses anything.
I remember him telling me when he walked in on us at my shop. I told him that she had some demons, and I sometimes sense it like today. She stares at me like there’s something that’s trying to get out, but she’s desperate to keep it in. A storm is always brewing on the edges of her blue eyes.
“She’s hiding something,” I say before I can stop myself. “I have no clue how to bring it up, or if I should. I mean, I’m glad she’s here. I’m glad I get to be a part of this, but there’s more to it than me. I’m not so goddamn special that she decided to stay here for me. You both have secretive women. How do you deal?”
Jet laughs, swiping his palm along his beard. “We scream at each other until she either tells me or we fuck. Beyond that, I have nothing for you.”
Xan sighs, and I laugh. Jet and Cade are intense, that’s for sure. I’m pretty willing to bet my life on the fact that screaming at Nova would have the exact opposite effect. She’d collapse into a puddle of hurt feelings, or she’d murder me in my sleep. I’m not sensing any in-between with her.
“You need to be patient. She needs to trust you. She doesn’t know you, man. You have to let her in. Women are weird about trust. They need to psychoanalyze your weaknesses before they show you theirs.”
“He’s not wrong,” Del plops down next to me, startling me. She turns to Xan with a glare. “You could maybe phrase it a little less douchey, though.”
“How do I do that? I talk to her. I tell her things.” My desperation tenses my shoulders, and I shake my hands like my sister will place the answer in my palms. Maybe this is why I’ve never been able to commit to a woman. They are so fucking confusing.
Del laughs, stealing my beer and drinking some of it. “Not things that matter.”
“What does that mean?” I wrestle my drink back from her.
My siblings share a look—the exact look they use on Tabby when she’s being naive and sheltered. They think they understand more because they’re older, not babies like us. Tabby and I often get this treatment, but unlike Tabby, I don’t get it gently or compassionately. I get slapped in the face with it and then left to process on my own.
“Zeke,wedon’t even know you.” Jet states it like it’s obvious.
“What? How do you not know me?” I slap Del’s hand as she goes for my beer again.
None of them say anything. They stare at me.
Discomfort stirs in my belly as I puzzle together what they mean. I’m not exactly an open book. Xan drinks to cope. Jet beats the shit out of people. I turn myself into the butt of every joke, determined to keep every interaction on the surface. Never too deep. That’s my pattern.
“Right,” I say, exhaustion pulling at my shoulders.
Maybe Nova isn’t the only one who struggles to trust.
