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31
20thNovember 1944
They were outnumbered.That much was obvious.They were also very close to running out of supplies and weapons.The Soviet blockade of Allied support around Warsaw had begun to take its effect on the Home Army, and the rebels were growing tired.
The only supplies getting through to the fatigued and scattered fighters came from nightly supply drops of munitions and goods by long-range planes from the British Royal Airforce and Polish Airforce.But since they had nowhere nearby they could land other than Italy, the impact of their supply runs was minimal, and very little got through to Warsaw itself.
The war underway in the city waged between theWehrmachtand the Polish Home Army had become a desperate battle between two sides, each losing their tenuous grip on any chance of victory.
The Germans were under pressure on all sides from the Red Army and the Allies.The Poles were outclassed and overpowered by the Germans.And the Soviets sat outside the city, starving them of resources, having taken most of Poland into communist custody.
The Soviets seemed determined not to help and were also preoccupied with the four German Panzer divisions dug in around the city.According to Jan’s rebel friends, Marek and Adas, Stalin wanted to colonise Poland and had no intention of assisting the Polish National Army, or Home Army, in securing a defeat of Germany that might give them the impression they could self-govern after the war was over.
They said he intended to let them beat themselves to death against the might of theWehrmachtand waltz in to claim the city as soon as those who might challenge their authority were gone.
Jan hoped that wasn’t true.He wanted to believe the Soviet Army might liberate them and leave them to go back to their lives in freedom and peace, but he knew it was probably a naïve hope.And he shouldn’t cling to naïvete now that he was in his nineteenth year of life.
He was a man, and he had to think like a man, not a child who didn’t know any better.Too many years of war had honed his perspective and left him bereft of a belief in the ultimate good of humanity or the hope for a free, prosperous life.All he needed was to survive this day.To waken tomorrow and begin all over again.
There wasno way for them to remain in the apartment any longer.Nacha felt a mixture of fear and relief wash over her when Waltrina told them.They’d finally be allowed out of this small, dark prison.It was ungrateful to think that way—she knew that.Tata had told her so a hundred times over the past two years.She should be thankful they weren’t buried in the ground or doing hard labour in Treblinka.
The apartment was their oasis, their refuge from evil.She knew that.He was right, but at the same time it felt like a prison.She hadn’t been allowed to leave in over two whole years.She’d wished so many times over the years that she’d been born a bird instead of who she was.A girl with no freedom, a girl with no life.Nothing to call her own but the fear of capture and a painful death.
And now the time had come—they’d face their future of either freedom or death.Death was more likely, of course, given the fact that Warsaw was a conflict zone and no one escaped the wrath of the German war machine.But they’d survived this long and perhaps God was watching over them, although her faith had been shaken by the death and destruction she’d witnessed for the duration of her teen years.
She was an adult now, and it was a difficult thing for her to admit, since she’d longed for a normal teen life for much of their incarceration and now she’d never have it.
She’d never get those years back.Instead, she’d be expected to be an adult with responsibilities, a spouse, children, and a house to keep.To pretend that she’d lived life to the fullest.And shame washed over her as she realised she was being ungrateful all over again.
So many people would never get to see adulthood, never get to have freedom and a family.And perhaps she wouldn’t either because she couldn’t see how they’d get out of the mess they were in this time.
Waltrina wrung her hands together.“The Germans say everyone has to leave Warsaw.OberführerMeisinger has ordered it—anyone who stays behind will be sent to the death camps or executed on the spot.He’s announced that he’ll personally see to it on Himmler’s orders.”
“Spineless rat that he is.Everyone must leave?”Tata’s brow furrowed.He leaned forward in his armchair.“But…”
“They will spot you if you go.Meisinger’s men will figure it out,” Jan added with a nod.“If Jews join the exodus of Poles leaving Warsaw, they’ll be picked off by the Germans.There’s no doubt about that.”
“You don’t think we could get through?”Nathan asked.
Jan sighed.“They’ll want to see your papers, and unfortunately, you have none.Things are rapidly disintegrating out there.People are being shot indiscriminately.There’s raping, burning, mass transportations to the death camps…everyone’s at risk.I don’t trust them to let Poles safely through their ranks, especially Jews.No, we can’t go.And I don’t want to.I want to stay and fight for our freedom.”
“But the Home Army has been destroyed,” Tata said.“There’s no one left to fight with you.”
“Then we will simply fight for our own lives,” Jan replied.“We will find somewhere to stay until the Red Army takes the city, which won’t be long now.They’ve dug in on the eastern side of the Vistula River.It isn’t far, and the Germans are weakened.”
Jadzia ran her hands over her apron.She stood in the kitchen, rolling dough out on the bench.It was the last of their stale breadcrumbs.
Waltrina had no intention of wasting anything, so they were preparing a feast for their final meal together.“There are jobs in the city, paid work.”
“Doing what?”Jan asked.
“The Germans are paying women and girls to go through abandoned homes, removing clothing and other valuables for them.”
“It’s too dangerous,” Jan stated.
Waltrina raised her chin.“You are the last person to complain about doing something dangerous.Besides, it would give us some protection, and we’d be able to stay close by.”
“I want to do it too,” Danuta added.She was eleven years old and already as tall as Waltrina.Her dark brown hair was pulled into a bun at the nape of her neck, and she had a graceful elegance that made her seem older than her years.
