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He nods, dropping his lean body into the chair, his hands hanging between his legs. “Irelynn, I’ve done—and still do—some terrible things. But raping or violating a woman in any way…” He cringes, his hands clenching into fists. “Hell no. Absolutely fucking not.”
Shit. His voice rings with sincerity, as does his face and body language.
I close my eyes, feeling shameful for not letting him explain before now.
Opening my eyes, I blink the moisture away. “I need to apologize for not giving you the chance to explain. But I’m listening now.”
His eyes soften. “I can hardly blame you for thinking the worst. I did so much shit in high school. Rebelled hard against my father, even though he didn’t give two shits.” He shook his head. “Slept around, sold drugs, which, yes, I still distribute, and my dealers sell them. I don’t apologize for it. I’ve built up a lucrative business and have made more money than my father ever has.”
I nod, understanding why he did and still does it, knowing Gregory Anderson will never acknowledge his son’s success, illegal or not.
“Yes, I had Bryan dance up on you so I could play the hero. I was shocked you came to one of my parties and well… it wasn’t a secret that I wanted you. Acting like a hero got your attention and you danced with me. And then, we kissed, and I felt on top of the world.” He shakes his head. “I warned you that the punch was potent, but you didn’t heed it. Should I have taken you to my room? Probably not. But I thought you really wanted me.” He lowers his head, fidgeting with his cup of coffee. He takes a drink, then rubs a hand over his face. “I wanted you so bad. I knew you were a virgin, and damn, I wanted to be your first. But I became aware of how intoxicated you were by your sloppy movements. And as much as I wanted to… I couldn’t.”
His words hang in the air between us, the last sentence running through my head on repeat.
My voice comes out low and shaky. “I remember kissing you, being on your bed. Trying to pull your shirt off… and then, nothing.”
He nods. “I can fill in those blanks. I realized how drunk you were and told you I was taking you home. But you had already passed out. I lifted you from my bed, carrying you to the back entrance of the mansion to my car, not wanting the other students to see you like that.” He pauses. “Then I texted Mike, not wanting to wake your parents by calling him, and told him to meet me outside. I didn’t tell him you were drunk, figuring it was better to explain it in person.”
William meets my eyes, then continues. “You woke up in the car and said you were going to get sick. I pulled over and you threw up. I helped clean you up with some napkins and then you passed out again.”
I remember smelling the vomit on my shirt the next morning.I can feel the color draining from my face.
“And Mike, well, he flipped out when I carried you to him.” He shakes his head sadly, his eyes so full of anguish that my heartaches. “Mike said such horrible things to me when he accused me….”
I remember Mike’s face when I opened my eyes. I’d never seen my brother look so… devastated… broken. As though he blamed himself for not protecting me.
His shoulders droop and he hangs his head. His words are low, full of pain, as he continues speaking without looking up at me. “Mike accused me of violating you. I tried, over and over, to defend myself, but he wasn’t hearing any of it.” He swallows hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “It ruined our friendship, which hurt more than I can say. Aside from Bryan, Mike was my only real friend.”
A strangled sob comes from my throat as tears pour down my face. William’s head jerks up and he stares at me, vulnerability all over his face. And yet… he slides off the chair, sitting in front of me on his knees, grabbing my hands. “Please, don’t cry. I don’t want to make you feel terrible. I just want to tell you the truth.” His eyes are pleading. “I swear to you, Irelynn, we did not have sex that night. I didnottake your virginity. The only thing we did was kiss… surely, you have to know I didn’t have sex with you?”
I sob harder, nodding. It takes me a few minutes to compose myself but when I do, I say, “This may be TMI… but in college, the first time I had sex with my boyfriend… I bled. It hurt. I thought it was because it had been so long and I had just started taking the pill and experienced spotting… I blamed it on that.”
William nods, squeezing my hands. “You made me so angry when I tried to explain what happened, but you wouldn’t give me the chance. I made some stupid comments to you because I was hurt… but I swear to you, Ididn’t. And Iwouldn’t. Not after what happened to my mom.” His voice lowers and the color drains from his face. He runs a hand through his hair, expelling a long breath. “One of the servants sexually assaulted my mom. Bryan and I heard her screaming, and we managed to get there before he did too much damage… but still, it was hell seeing my mom like that.”
My heart aches as I wipe the tears from my face. “Oh my God. I’m so sorry! Aboutallof it.” My hand cups my mouth as I stare at him with watery eyes. I accused him of violating me… when he’d witnessed his mom’s assault.
I feel so wretched from the guilt and remorse circulating through me, the huge lump in my throat making it hard to swallow.
“Do you need a hug?” His voice is so hesitant, as though he has no right to ask, even though Mike and I were in the wrong for not hearing him out.
Nodding, I fall into his arms, sobbing. He rocks me gently, not saying much, except for a few words that rock me to my core.
“Thank you for believing me.”
Chapter nine
Max
October9,2018,7:00a.m.
I blink, the blinding light making it difficult to keep my eyes open. Everything is fuzzy until, finally, my vision clears and the sterile room comes into focus. My brow wrinkled in confusion and then… the memories rush through my mind.
Oh fuck! Irelynn.I try to sit up, but pain courses through me.
“Whoa, Max, calm down.” Darin places a restraining hand on my shoulder, ceasing my movements.
But I’m too agitated to listen to him, my thoughts whirling so fast my mind goes blank. I’m overheated, sweat rolling down my hospital gown. “Darin, I need outta here.”
